Maybe Baby

Can I afford it?

Beyond the initial outlay for AI or IVF, also consider your financial position. How much time can you afford to take for maternity leave? Can you cover the cost of childcare?

Who will be my support crew?

It’s crucial to have a team of people to lean on during the assisted reproduction process and beyond. “There might be one person who’s great at coming to appointments with you, and there might be someone who’s wonderful to be distracted with and have a good laugh,” says Newburn.

What’s my ‘why’?

It might be that you’ve always dreamt of being a mum, but it’s key to recognise if other emotional states or life events (such as a break-up, depression or loneliness) are driving your thought process. A psychologist can help you identify and work through these issues.

Am I avoiding the question?

“Something

I try to help my clients understand is that not making a decision is still a decision,” says Newburn. The way to face this indecisiveness? “If you say to yourself, ‘I’m deciding to keep things exactly as they are,’ that might spur you into thinking, ‘Actually, that’s not what I want. I do want this alternative.’”

What are the pros and cons?

Some pros might surprise you (hey, no arguments over baby names!), but if the cons ultimately win, try to be kind to yourself. “It’s [about] accepting that we can only make a decision with the information we have in a particular moment,” says Newburn. “We can just do what’s best now and give ourselves permission to change our minds if we get new information later on.” Noted.