RESILIENT CHRISSY OPENS UP
THE CRAVINGS AUTHOR GETS CANDID ABOUT MARRIAGE, RESILIENCE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF TEACHING HER KIDS MILES AND LUNA TO BE FEARLESS
Practically ready to walk down the aisle again on a warm Los Angeles day in February. Her hair was perfect, and the train of her floral gown floated ethereally in the wind. But most important, the love – or, rather, loves – of her life had just appeared. “Come on, we’re getting married!” Teigen playfully exclaimed to her 5-year-old daughter Luna and 2-year-old son Miles on the set of WHO’s sister publication People magazine’s cover shoot. Humming the chords of ‘Here Comes the Bride’, Teigen – who had arrived to set earlier that day with her mum, Vilailuck “Pepper” Teigen – beamed as adoring squeals of “Mummy! Mummy!” swirled around her.
She may not have actually renewed her vows – the wedding march was just a ploy to get the kids excited – but her bond with her family is stronger than ever. During a year in which the Cravings author, 35, and her husband, John Legend, 42, faced unthinkable heartbreak following the loss of their son Jack at 20 weeks of pregnancy, Teigen found hope and
strength, she says, through such joyful moments with her brood. “Miles brings so much energy into our house, and Luna is just such a positive, amazing force,” says Teigen, who helped others feel less alone by courageously sharing her loss on social media. “What we get to experience with them is so, so wonderful, and I can’t imagine a life without them.” After sending Miles and Luna off to nap time with hugs and kisses, Teigen reflected on lasting love, finding confidence – and her hopes and dreams for her children’s future.
What was your reaction when you heard you were going to be on the cover of People? Oh my God. I’m, like, in it? On it? It’s definitely a shock and an honour.
I’m already making a spot in my office for [the] cover. This is huge!
How has your definition of beauty evolved?
It’s really, really nice to be able to come to an age where I can appreciate every little scar and see my body as something that’s done incredible, miraculous things. The difference is these two beautiful, wonderful babies, and these scars are the things I’ve been through and the journeys I’ve healed from. When I look in the mirror, I’m so proud of who I’ve become. And I’m happy that John’s happy, too! [Laughs.]
You stuck to a strict diet during your modelling days. Do you feel different about wellness now?
I’ve had ups and downs with dieting and diet culture. At this point, if it’s going to make me happy and make me feel good, then I indulge in it. I’ve spent way too many years counting calories and scheduling way too many workouts and trying to figure out what “wellness” meant to me. Now I know that it’s on the ground playing with my kids or going to an aquarium or a park.
What’s your favourite thing to do when you’re in need of a little self-care?
Luna has a love of doing nails, so I love doing our nails together. I love taking baths with my kids. Me, Luna and Miles in the bathtub with Cars 2 lately is what we’re doing. I love a good chiropractor. I love a good neck crack. [Laughs.]
Your mum is Thai and your dad is American. Did you ever face racism growing up?
I grew up in a predominantly white area about 45 minutes north of Seattle. I didn’t experience casual forms of racism, but it’s the big moments that stood out to me – and I was fiercely defended by white or Black friends. It would be the silliest, dumbest things, like someone saying, “Go eat a bowl of rice.” But it would escalate because I had protectors around me, and I remember friends getting suspended for defending me.
I experienced more everyday casual racism once I entered the modelling world. When they needed someone racially ambiguous – that’s what they called it – that was always going to be me. I didn’t realise how important representation was until I had a daughter. When Luna sees her hair or skin tone reflected in shows that she watches, she loves it. She’s 5 and will ask, “Why isn’t my hair long and blonde and straight?” For me to be a reflection of anybody out there is just so meaningful and powerful.
Miles and Luna are clearly obsessed with you …
They were so incredible today. Today. Any parents out there will know [what I mean]. But I had a plan, and that plan involved a chicken. If that chicken weren’t there, we’d
be looking at very different photos. I’m actually best under chaos. I’m an open, free spirit, and I love kids to be kids. For us, kindness is such a big thing, and when you meet our kids, they’re very warm and friendly. “Please” and “Thank you” go such a long way, so you instil those things in them, but for the most part we let them be creative and wondrous and spirited. I try to let them discover things just like my mum did. She never once said, “You probably shouldn’t use Sharpie on your eyebrows.” She let me do it, and I learned. How much of you and John do you see in the kids? Luna is exactly me. She’s a bit of a perfectionist. When I talk to her, I’m actually talking to myself, too: “Not everything has to be perfect, and don’t be so hard on yourself.” Miles is very emotional, so he’s a lot like me, too. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and we embrace that. More men should embrace their emotions. It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to be upset or sad about something. There is no “Be a man!” in our house. John is so good about showing them through how he treats me how to be a good man and how to be a good father.
You and John have been together for 15 years. How has your relationship changed over time?
He’s seen me at my absolute worst and picked me up. I’ve seen his career grow into somebody with an EGOT. Never did we think in our little apartment in New York that one day we would have this family in Los Angeles and he would have an Oscar or that I would be on this cover. We’re still like little kids, but we’ve been through so much and grown together. We’ve just been each other’s biggest cheerleaders. I don’t even know if I believe in the term “soulmates”, but he is my person. It’s very easy and effortless.
What do you two look forward to as you get older?
I know what he looks forward to, and that’s single grey hairs. Every time they pop out, he really embraces them. I can’t wait to see salt-and-pepper John.
“Beauty is being able to see how powerful your body is”
“The most beautiful thing about my mother is her spirit. She lights up a room”
I can see me next to him with my silver hair. I look forward to our children hopefully being the type that come over every weekend and have Sunday dinner. I pray that they are going to love being in our house and that I embrace the ones they love, too. I will be so happy seeing my family all around the same table.
What did you learn about yourself in the past year? It must have been transformative. That’s the perfect word. I’ve learned how strong physically and mentally a body can be. I’ve learned how strong I am. This year has been a roller-coaster for everybody in the world, including our little family. We’ve endured the lowest of lows, and being able to not just laugh but gut-laugh and seeing people rally around us has been really beautiful. Whatever love we’ve put out into the world, we’re getting it back tenfold. How did you find new joy through it all? Well, therapy, if we’re looking for real answers. Friendships and people willing to see that you’re not OK or you’re not there yet, or people willing to hold you or help you out of the bathtub. There’s been times in the past year that were unimaginable for me, and things I never thought John would have to see. But it’s also been so beautiful and wonderful that we have prevailed and still see each other with so much more love than we could have ever imagined in our lives.
How do you hope to keep Miles and Luna connected to their brother Jack?
It’s important in Thai tradition to always embrace the ones we’ve lost. They’re never, ever gone. We have this new home that we’re building and this tree being planted inside. The whole reason I wanted it was so Jack’s ashes could be in that soil, and he could be with us all the time and grow through the beautiful leaves. The way Miles and Luna talk about him just reminds me of when I was little, talking to my grandpa, who was just sitting bedside next to my mum in a little urn. I love that the tradition carries down.
You also shared last year that you can’t carry another baby. What words of support do you have for other women going through the same thing?
Coming to terms with not being able to carry again is still really difficult for me because I feel so healthy. But then I think about it as my uterus is just not cooperating with me – and it’s not a failure. I’m so lucky I had two beautiful children, and I honestly can’t imagine a life without more. There are also so many ways to have a child nowadays, whether it’s surrogacy or adoption. What’s really important is making sure everybody has access to those ways so their dreams can come true. It’s incredibly expensive to freeze your eggs and to harvest them. IVF isn’t an option for a lot of people, and it needs to be.
You’ve said Holly Whitaker’s book Quit
Like a Woman was life-changing for you. What was your biggest takeaway?
How much the alcohol industry is driven by women needing to feel like drinking is the thing to do. I don’t know if I’m never, ever going to drink again, but I do know that I shouldn’t have to think about it as much as I do. For me it was more the reason behind why the drinking was happening, and now I’m getting to discover the roots of those feelings through therapy.
What makes you feel most grateful now?
Growing my own business and seeing my kids running around my office is really amazing. I always knew that I wanted to be a mum and a wife, but work-wise I never knew exactly where I could fit in or what I could do. With Cravings I’ve brought together all these talented people, and the love that people show us makes me so happy. I’m still proud when I make John proud, and I love seeing him flourish and write music that he loves so, so much. It’s so cool to see what we’ve created in the time we’ve been together, and what we have to come is just going to be wild. When I think of [the future], all I think is, “What kind of car am I going to have if I have more kids?” We’re going minivan!