MAKE FEAR YOUR FRIEND!
Worried you’re living a life half lived? Jules Sebastian says it may be time to step out of your comfort zone
Fear is a subject I often ask my guests about on Tea With Jules [Sebastian’s YouTube show]. I remember obsessing over what drives successful people and how they seem to eat fear for breakfast!
I thought of these people as mystical creatures wandering the land like unicorns conquering one magnificent task after another, without so much as a sweaty palm or a fluttering heart. But as I asked more guests about this subject, what I discovered was that, in fact, my theory was very wrong. Not one person I chatted with about being afraid was void of fear. They were simply void of showing it. You see, most of them actually face what makes them afraid. Some choose to move through the fear quickly, while others allow themselves to feel fear and simply put on armour and get out into the battle.
This was both fascinating and a great relief to me. I’m a person who does most things afraid. You name it and I’ve probably been afraid of it. Meeting new people? Yep, not my thing. Starting a new project without knowing the outcome? Terrifying! Having kids? Huge fear. But, here’s the thing I’ve discovered: being fearless doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear at all. It simply means that you just have to show a lack of fear.
Put simply, it’s about doing things even though you feel scared. Fearlessness is about putting a little smile on your dial even if your whole body is shaking on the inside. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and taking the leap of faith – even when you don’t know how it will work out.
I now believe that being afraid can actually be a great thing. I like to think of fear as a dear friend who wants you to be bigger and better than you think you are, and desires to push you forward into your future. Fear should be our signpost that says yes, we’re actually moving in the right direction. The simple fact is just because you feel butterflies in your tummy and your brain is telling you to run (fast) the other way, fear could actually be pulling you forward towards the right thing.
So, here’s my hope – come on the journey with me and try to relearn fear. If we can flip our thinking, we might just see that fear is our friend.
Most of us will never have the opportunity to stand up and sing in front of thousands of people, but what if you have a meeting with your boss that you’re fearful of ? What if you took control of your mind and told yourself you’re confident, worth it and deserve the pay rise or the promotion you’re asking for? Going into any situation with your mind in a positive space can completely change the outcome for the better. Or what if it’s as simple as the fear of letting your children go off to a new school or to try out for a sports team they might get rejected for? I encourage you to get lost in the present moment and enjoy the ride. You might just surprise yourself with what you might say or how you might act. Life is one lesson after another. Be aware of its teachings and grow and learn as best you can.
Fear either stops you or propels you forward. Which way do you want to go? The power of fear is in our hands. We get to choose how to control it. As Steven Khalil wisely encourages, “Put fears aside and just move forward with it. Embrace whatever comes your way, it’s better than not ever knowing what might have come from that moment.”