WHAT BETHENNY KNOWS NOW
THE IRREPRESSIBLE FORMER REAL HOUSEWIVES STAR AND BUSINESSWOMAN IS NEWLY ENGAGED AND BACK AS A BOSS WITH A NEW SHOW
Bethenny Frankel has never been one to dial back her personality – and that’s just fine with her new fiancé, Paul Bernon. “He says there are no variations to me,” says Frankel, 50, of the 43-year-old producer, businessman and dad-of-two. “He loves me for me. He knows what he’s taken on.”
After all, Frankel’s bracing honesty and memorable one-liners made her a fan favourite on The Real Housewives of New York City more than a decade ago. After finalising a drawn-out divorce in January from second husband Jason Hoppy, with whom she shares 11-year-old daughter Bryn, the reality star-entrepreneurphilanthropist is back with a new show on hayu, The Big Shot with Bethenny, in which contestants compete to join the executive team at her multimillion-dollar Skinnygirl lifestyle company. “I know I can be a loose horse,” she says, “but we’re just gonna let it fly.” Here, she lets loose about some lessons she’s learned …
GO FOR THE TWINKLE
Paul and I met on a dating app. I was freaked out that someone would know who I was and I wouldn’t know who they were. It was not a level playing field, but I was pretty lucky when I walked into the restaurant and saw him. He had a twinkle. He came better than advertised. The next day he sent beautiful flowers, and I thought, “Wow, this guy could be The One.” It was fairytale-ish – which seems ridiculous when you’re older, but it felt like that. I’d been through hell [in my love-life]. He gets me. He says it’s like being in a relationship with Gilda Radner.
BUT THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP GOAL IS STABILITY
When people say they’re in a solid relationship, that’s not the sexiest word. I admire the Queen and [the late] Prince Philip for their longevity. I haven’t always been successful at relationships because I haven’t always seen that kind of partnership. Watching them was a good way to learn.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY …
WAS RIGHT
I know it sounds dorky, but I can’t disconnect emotion from sex. Remember in When Harry Met Sally … when Sally tells Harry she and another
guy were going to have sex on the kitchen floor and fly off to Rome at a moment’s notice? When Harry asks what happened to Rome, she says, “We never went.” And then he asks, “What about the floor?” and she says, “Not once. It’s this very cold ceramic tile.” I kinda agree.
KEEP A FEW SECRETS TO YOURSELF Our engagement happened more than a month before the news broke. We didn’t announce it. In the past I’d been in a fishbowl, but that hasn’t always worked out so great. This was intimate, just the two of us on a private island off Florida. I had no makeup on, wasn’t decked out, no manicure, no ring photos. Just simple and beautiful. We sort of had a secret bubble with our kids. It’s like, if a tree falls in the forest and no-one saw it, did it happen? Well, the tree fell.
LEARN TO IMPROVISE AND TRUST YOUR CHILD
Both Bryn and I had COVID-19 at the end of last year. She recovered quickly. I had fevers, shivers and headaches for a few weeks. It was like the arm in a horror movie that keeps pulling you down. When I had a work video to shoot, the crew couldn’t come to the house, so Bryn got on the phone with my social media person, and they walked her through how to use the tripod and set everything up. It was better than a lot of my social media videos. I was so proud. She didn’t even take the $25 I offered her. One of the silver linings of the pandemic is the time we’ve spent together. We’re like the Golden Girls. Sometimes it’s like she’s my
roommate: I’m on the phone with a work call, and she’s tie-dying something and asking me questions, and I have to tell her I’m working! She doesn’t care that much about my job unless a TikTok star comes on my podcast.
APPRECIATE YOUR PAST, BUT DON’T GET STUCK IN IT
Being on a reality television show like Housewives isn’t touchy-feely. The bar keeps getting raised for drama. It’s like Lucy and Ricky were sleeping in separate beds, then somebody was pregnant on TV, then people are sleeping in the same bed, then they’re having sex, then it’s a threesome. Now everyone has seen everything and had every fight. These women, they want to strike gold the way I did, but the way to stay on the show is to have drama in order to market the product. It’s a great platform. It’s just a lot of pressure. I can’t imagine what would ever make me go back to the show. It feels like another lifetime. EMBRACE YOUR AGE – AND YOUR EYESIGHT
I don’t really care about being 50. I don’t understand people lying about their age, because then you look worse for your actual age! Now it’s like the lottery every month if I’m going to get my period. Or maybe the Easter bunny. Is it coming? It’s all new fodder. I’m launching a line of reading glasses. It’s all about readers! You need them everywhere, like mints. I’ve not had plastic surgery except for a breast lift. Filler is scary, but I believe in Botox because it decreased the size of my jaw. I grind my teeth. Then you always hear about people who are 98, use Pond’s skincare and smoke, so who knows?
YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH EVEN THE TOUGHEST TIMES OF YOUR LIFE
The nine-year journey to finalise my divorce and resolve the custody and financial issues was the hardest experience of my life, emotionally, physically, mentally. For women who fear they’re not going to survive something, remember this too shall pass.
YOU REALLY CAN’T HAVE IT ALL – AND THAT’S FINE
I always say you’re not going to be successful, tanned, in shape, well-rested, having great sex, have a social life and be a good parent all at the same time. Half of those would be great. You’ll get the other half later. It’s an à la carte menu.
“Everybody is so filtered now. I’d rather be opinionated than sanitised”