Harry tells of his mental anguish
The young royal reveals the depths of his pain writes TRUDIE MCCONNOCHIE MOST REVEALING INTERVIEW EMOTIONAL HARRY OPENS HIS HEART
For two decades, Prince Harry appeared to be the fun-loving, happy-go-lucky royal every girl wanted to date and every guy wanted to be. But behind the scenes Harry was falling apart, his emotional state so precarious that he came agonisingly close to what he calls “a complete breakdown” several times.
The extraordinary extent of the 32-year-old’s suffering came to light last week in an unprecedented interview, where he opened up about years of suppressed grief over the death of his mother, Princess Diana, during which he revealed his fragile emotional state almost pushed him over the edge.
“I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well,” Harry says.
“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions, when all sorts of grief and lies and misconceptions are coming to you from every angle.”
In the groundbreaking interview to promote awareness of mental health issues, Harry warns others that burying their grief, as he did, only stands to make difficult feelings more intense. He also admits that in his years of emotional turmoil, the feeling he was unable to hide was his overpowering anger.
“During those years I took up boxing, because everyone was saying boxing is good for you and it’s a really good way of letting out aggression,” he says.
“And that really saved me because I was on the verge of punching someone, so being able to punch someone who had pads was certainly easier.”
The royal, now blissfully in love with American girlfriend Meghan Markle and revelling in his expanded profile of royal duties, says it was during two years of “total chaos” in his mid-twenties that it became apparent he had unresolved issues he needed to confront before they engulfed him.
During that time he was photographed partying naked in Las Vegas, had a fight with a photographer and was snapped wearing a swastika armband to a fancy-dress party – a regrettable move that sparked endless criticism.
“My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum, because why would that help?” he reflects. “[I thought] it’s only going to make you sad, it’s not going to bring her back. So I was a typical 20, 25, 28-year-old running around going ‘life is great’ or ‘life is fine’.
‘Losing my mum at age 12 has had quite a serious effect…’
And then [I] started to have a few conversations and actually, all of a sudden, all the grief that I have never processed started to come to the forefront and I was like, there is actually a lot of stuff here that I need to deal with.”
Harry recalls going to great lengths to pretend he was OK – even managing at times to fool himself. But it was his supportive older brother Prince William who pushed him to get therapy – which he described as “great”. “I couldn’t put my finger on it,” Harry says of what was troubling him. “I just
didn’t know what was wrong with me. My brother, you know, bless him, he was a huge support to me.
“He kept saying, ‘This is not right, this is not normal, you need to talk to [someone] about stuff, it’s OK.’”
In the candid interview, Harry made a point of saying his emotional issues were not connected to his military service in Afghanistan, and although he did not mention Meghan, 35, it’s believed she was instrumental in his decision to speak out about his past mental battles to encourage others who are struggling to seek help.
The Suits actress, whose mother is a social worker and yoga therapist, has regularly shared inspirational messages promoting positivity and self-help with her fans. “I know there’s huge merit in talking about your issues, and the only thing about keeping it quiet is that it’s only ever going to make it worse,” Harry says.