Health Dating, bust anxiety, find your perfect weight
Australia’s top relationship experts reveal just how you can find your forever person later in life
Whether you’re newly divorced, a victim of countless dating disasters or just looking for love, the singles scene is a tricky one to navigate. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to go about it.
“On eharmony, over 45s make up more than 25 per cent of users,” says psychologist and relationship coach Jacqui Manning. “There’s no reason to say [older Australians] can’t find a good relationship again later in life.” So it’s time to get out there and find one yourself with the help of these steps.
Perfect your online profile
It’s said a first impression is a lasting impression, and the same goes for your dating profile. “A good profile is entertaining, lively, original and reveals what you like,” says social commentator and online dating coach Bettina Arndt. “It isn’t a shopping list of demands – it’s more about what you have to offer.”
Having plenty of photos (of yourself, of course) is also a must, and when it comes to writing your bio, keep it short and sweet.
“It does have to be more succinct because people don’t spend a huge amount of time reading profiles,” Jacqui says.
“I’ve found from my clients that it’s often a particular line they really resonate with.”
Work your words
So you’ve created your account and are one step closer to finding your forever person. Now what?
Jacqui says, “Make an effort in conversation. Sometimes people say, ‘Hey,’ and that’s it – not very exciting. Try something like, ‘Hi, I saw your profile, I think you look really interesting and I wanted to say hello.’”
Then comes the flirting – it’s easier than you think! “Flirting through the online world is about using emojis or actually saying things like, ‘This is fun.’”
As for the day you meet face to face, Jacqui says eye contact is key. “Just smile and look them in their eyes,” she says. “Also
Be patient
“Taking it slowly is one of the main rules of online dating,” Jacqui continues. “It will be a challenge and make you feel out of your comfort zone and that’s OK. . Just go step by step. Remember ber you’re in control and can manage who you’re talking to.”
As for what not to do in the dating game, Coach Colin from daygamedating4women.com.au says it’s important you should avoid coming across as “needy or try too hard to impress the other person”.
And most importantly of all, don’t give up just because things don’t work out with someone!
“Take a breather,” Jacqui advises. “Don’t force yourself to go back online but don’t leave it for too long. Realise the next dating experience isn’t going to be dictated by the last.”
Plan your first date
You’ve chatted up a storm with a potential partner so now it’s time to meet them “in real life”.
Exciting! “I often find the most successful first date is going for a nice walk,” Jacqui says. “Because it’s not too intense or like you’re in a job interview. You can even incorporate it with a drink or coffee.”
Avoid spending a first date at the other person’s home. “Aim to go somewhere familiar to you,” says Jacqui. “So if you need to leave quickly, you know how to.”
If it’s been a while, Bettina says to just, well, practise! “I advise my clients to start chatting and meeting up with a bunch of people because it helps them relax and learn how to flirt again.”
Look outside dating sites
Online dating isn’t the only way to find a new love. Try a social activity like a dance class or running club.
“Try meetup.com – a website with special interest outings, like a group of singles going to the theatre,” says Jacqui.