YOUR CURLIEST SEX QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Reigniting the sexual chemistry with your partner is easy, say sexologist DR GABRIELLE MORRISSEY and gynaecologist DR FARIBA BEHNIA-WILLISON

Q i’ve lost the ability to orgasm. Is this normal? I went through menopause eight years ago.

“Lack of orgasm, or inorgasmia, can happen at any age and is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions,” Gabrielle says. It often stems from hormonal changes. “Orgasm can become sluggish after menopause due to hormone imbalance and possible atrophy of the vagina (thinning of the vaginal walls and dryness),” says Dr Behnia-willison. If there’s no hormonal imbalance, try looking at how tired you feel, your alcohol consumption and possible side effects of any medication.

Q My husband and I are still together after 32 years, but I’ve completely lost interest in sex.

Honesty is usually the best policy, and this is one of those times. “He may be feeling rejected, which could be damaging your intimacy on every level – cuddling, touching and holding hands,” says Dr Morrissey. Restore your connection by having a heartto-heart, then try bonding in fun, playful ways. “You may be able to find the desire for sex again by feeling close and doing exciting new things to rediscover each other outside the bedroom.”

Q Sometimes sex becomes painful, or my body seems to just seize up.

Have a checkup to rule out infection, dermatitis or other conditions. “It could be superficial dyspareunia due to thinning of the vaginal walls, loss of elasticity, and narrowing [of the vagina due to menopause]”, says Dr Behnia-willison. Ruling out physical reasons, a personal lubricant can make sex more comfortable, but Dr Morrissey says if you’ve tried that, “it might be down to vaginismus, where the vagina contracts involuntarily making penetration painful or in extreme cases impossible”.