SEXIER THAN EVER AFTER 60!
The country’s leading experts reveal the simple tricks to ramping up your love-life
It’s often thought that when women reach a certain age, usually around the time of menopause, sex goes out the window – but that couldn’t be further from the truth!
Sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell and sexologist Juliet Allen explain how to embrace your sexuality later in life by spicing up your time between the sheets.
Menopause M isn’t i the end
“Th “There are changes th that occur [after me menopause] and your body isn’t the same as it was, but that doesn’t mean you’re yo no longer a robust, sexual sex being,” says Cyndi. “The changes c in our hormones mean m we might experience things like vaginal dryness and less tone in the pelvic floor, but these things can be assisted,” adds Cyndi.
“Yoga and Pilates are fantastic for your sex life as well as a good quality, silicone lubricant,” Cyndi explains. “Glycerin and parabens are ingredients you want to avoid because they’re sticky, and they can cause yeast infections and other unpleasant side effects.”
Don’t wait to be in the mood
“If you think you’re not in the mood for sex or can’t be bothered because it’s too much effort, do it anyway, give it a go,” Cyndi says.
“What science tells us is that once we start, as long as it’s pleasurable, the ‘mood’ will come. It might take 20 or 30 minutes, but that’s OK! It’s not about racing
to orgasm. Think about what things turn you on. It could be reading an erotic novel, watching porn or fantasising about the postman. Allow your imagination to run wild.”
Add more excitement
“If you’re in a relationship, set aside a ‘date night’ once a week,” Juliet says. “Find ways to enjoy sex that isn’t necessarily in the bedroom,” she adds.
“For example, you might have a picnic down the beach and then go for a walk and find a quiet place to simply kiss. Or, you might like to spice it up and enjoy oral sex in your car. Have fun and get creative!”
Show yourself some love
“If you haven’t spent much time masturbating throughout the course of your life, start now,” Cyndi advises. “There’s a fantastic book called The Ultimate Guide To Sex After 50 by Joan Price. Every woman in Australia needs a copy,” adds Cyndi.
“Joan is a strong advocate of learning how to masturbate. The whole purpose of masturbation – whether you’re in a relationship or single – is finding out what you enjoy. If you don’t know what you like, you’re not going to be able to share that with someone else.”
“If you’ve never owned a sex toy, buy one,” Cyndi advises. “This doesn’t matter if you’re single or have a partner. If you feel uncomfortable going into adult shops, there are online retailers that sell wonderful products, too.
Seniors need to consider the size of the [toy’s] buttons because if you’ve got arthritis in your hands, teeny-tiny buttons aren’t going to be good for you,” Cyndi says.
“Look for something with a longer handle so it’s going to be easier to use, but not too heavy so you can hold it and your arm doesn’t hurt. And also something that doesn’t require too much after-care.”
Get educated about sex
“Read books about sex and intimacy, attend workshops, find great sex blogs online,” Juliet says. “It’s important we continually educate ourselves about sex and relationships, so our eyes open to new ways of relating and spicing things up! With your partner, talk about your desires, boundaries and what you do and don’t enjoy.”