Health Stop self-sabotage, spotlight on endometriosis

Quit being your own worst enemy, say certified life coaches TRACY TRESIDDER and JENNIE HILL

Raise your hand if you’ve ever doubted yourself or got in the way of reaching a goal. Lots of arms are waving around in the air, right?

Self-sabotage is an issue that affects so many people and can really hinder us from reaching our full potential.

“Self-sabotage is a type of self-defeating behaviour that interferes with our ability to move forward,” says master certified coach Tracy Tresidder. “We often don’t recognise it’s happening,” she adds.

Pinpointing the origin

While the causes for people to self-sabotage can be unique, according to certified life coach Jennie Hill, the habit usually stems from one of two stages of life.

“It can arise from childhood,” Jennie says. “It may be the youngest child was always cared for by older siblings, and so they developed a pattern of thinking, ‘I won’t be able to do this myself.’

It may also emerge as we grow up, where we find natural talents that work in one context but are unhelpful in another.”

How it develops

The experts say there are six ways in which we self-sabotage...

1. PROCRASTINATION

“This is the gap between intention and action,” Tracy explains. “We sometimes get lost in the deliberation of will we or won’t we, and then often wait until we ‘feel’ like doing it. Generally, we’ll never feel like doing it, so a great tip by Dr Timothy Pychyl [the procrastination expert] is to ‘just get started and do 10 minutes’.”

2. IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Feeling like a fake often leads to procrastination, according to Tracy, which ends with people struggling to reach their goals or simply getting the job done.

3. WORRY OR FEAR

Uncertainty or ambiguity can create excessive stress in many people and lead to procrastination. Other causes are a fear of success, a fear of failure and a fear of missing out, which is commonly known as FOMO.

4. SELF-DOUBT

This usually arrives in the form of a negative internal critic. “That voice in your head who says, ‘ You’re not good enough or smart enough.’ It second-guesses everything you do,” says Tracy.

5. DESIRE FOR CONTROL

“You may struggle with authority and prefer to do things your own way,” explains Tracy. “This could lead to taking on too much or not delegating things, which others could easily do for you. It also often leads to a burnout.”

6. ANGER

Anger manifests itself as energy, rgy, which can be expressed outwards to others or inwardly to ourselves. But Tracy says whichever way it comes out, it’s always “with a good dose of internal critique”.

How to correct your habits

The first step to nixing the pattern is to recognise there is one.

“It’s often achieved by reflecting on each day,” explains Tracy. “What went well, what didn’t and what you would like to do differently tomorrow.”

It’s also beneficial to ask your nearest and dearest for a helping hand. “If you have a loved one, you can ask them if or how they see yourself getting your own way,” adds Jennie. “A professional coach can also hold up the mirror, , so you can see yourself f clearly.”

Then it’s time to monitor your behaviour. Tracy suggests ests making notes and challenging your negative thinking. .

“Ask yourself if your thoughts are really true. Are these thoughts based on clear facts? Then choose one of your best qualities and consciously act the way you would at your best for at least the next 10 minutes. Keep practising these steps every day and eventually a new habit will replace the old one.” e.”