Parenting Cyber safety
Cyber safety expert SUSAN MCLEAN explains how to deal with bullying, sexting and potential predators
Once you give your child access to the digital space – whether it’s via a phone, tablet or your home computer – you need to know how to manage it.
“Parents need to be very careful about handing over devices to their child,” says Susan Mclean, author of Sexts, Texts & Selfies. “They’re giving their child access to the world, and the world access to their child.” And while we can’t keep them off the internet forever, Susan offers further important advice about online protection.
APP-SOLUTELY NOT!
Susan says no child in primary school should have a phone or be able to access online apps and websites – and there is a simple solution to keeping them offline, especially if they’re under the age of 13.
“Some sites and apps state you have to be 13,” Susan says. “So it’s really easy – whip out the terms and conditions and show your child and say that Mum and Dad are not prepared to help you lie.”
As for when kids enter their teens? Susan advises that this is when you need to sit down with your child and help them set up their social media accounts, putting in place rules, boundaries and expectations about technology use.
“If a child is on a particular app, especially a photo sharing one, parents need to be there as well,” adds Susan. “They need to be their child’s friend or follower, non-negotiable.”
SEXTING 101
It’s important to know sending or being in possession of naked photos of anyone under 18 is a crime. But if your child has sent an inappropriate photo – nude or partially nude – to someone, or posted it online, try to stay calm.
“Sit down with your child and talk about what’s happened and how. A lot of kids share nude photos because of pressuring, which is also a crime. If that’s the case, notify the police.
“Your child won’t be in trouble if they’ve been tricked, harassed or coerced into sending photos.”
If it hasn’t escalated to that level, you can rectify the situation in other ways. Have the photos removed from the site, or if
they’ve been shared around school, contact them.
If your child has been a recipient of a picture, they need to “speak up and say they’ve been sent an unsolicited nude”, Susan says. Get them to send a message back saying, “Please stop, I don’t want this,” then delete it and block the person. “If it continues, go to the police. Again, you’re not going to get into trouble if you speak up. When you’re found with a nude and you’ve not acted, that’s when it can become a problem.” KEEP TALKING
Cyber bullying is a crime in every state and territory of Australia, yet it is rampant. “We’ve got to change that
culture,” says Susan. “Don’t just have a cyber safety talk at the start of the year with your kids – these conversations have to be embedded in family life.”
If your child is being bullied by fellow students, remember that schools are legally obligated to mediate. “If talking to the school doesn’t work, because the bully ignores the school, then go to the police.”
And it’s not just about encouraging your children to speak up about the fact they’re being bullied. “Often behind these children are parents who are oblivious to what their kids are up to, so talk to them,” Susan says.
“If they come forward and own up to it, praise them.”