Health Friendship, winter pep up, help with pain
In honour of International Friendship Day on July 30, relationships coach MEGAN LUSCOMBE shares her tips
Most friendships hit road bumps during their lifetime, and while it’s healthy to let some go, there are others you want to go the distance.
Perhaps you’ve had a falling out, or one of you has moved out of town, or you simply haven’t seen or spoken to them in some time. So, how do you reconnect?
Life and relationships coach Megan Luscombe gives her tips on how to revive a connection, no matter the circumstances.
IF A LOT OF TIME HAS PASSED
In your busy life, it’s easy to forget or put off catch-ups with your mates.
Coach Megan suggests reminding yourself it’s OK for you and others to have your own lives, and says it only really becomes a problem when we get caught up in our own “stuff” too much.
“This makes it hard for people to realise they’ve been distant or neglectful of friends,” says Megan.
It’s human nature to get side-tracked by other areas of life such as our relationship, children or work.
“In these scenarios, there is a great opportunity to open up some honest and transparent communication by telling your friend how you feel, without placing blame on them.”
This means sending through a text or giving them a call mentioning you’re thinking of them and would love to schedule a catch-up soon.
“Take accountability for the situation and let them know you want to see them soon – and plan it.”
IF YOU’VE HAD A FALLING OUT
This one is perhaps the trickiest of friendship issues to navigate, but it’s definitely doable!
“It’s important, when friends have a falling out, that we’re able to recognise that whatever took place, it will have been experienced differently by each party,” says Megan. “And when it comes to making up, it’s best done in person.” In fact, Megan recommends taking all conversations off text and social media – as they can allow for messages to be misinterpreted, which can lead to further turmoil.
As for when you finally do catch up in person, allow the friendship to restart in an open, honest and accepting space.
“Put egos aside and resolve the issues in a mature, empathetic and understanding way,” Megan suggests. As hard as it might be,
she says to try to “work through the issues as a team, not with a ‘you versus me’ mentality”.
IF SOMEONE HAS MOVED AWAY
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it can also drive a wedge between friends.
“Depending on where your friend moved, this is where Skype and Facetime come in handy,” Megan says. “Why not schedule a weekly catch-up via Skype?
“If it’s in the morning, make yourself a coffee and breakfast so it’s like you’re out at a cafe together. Night time? Grab a glass of wine and settle in for an evening catch-up.”
Physical distance can make maintaining a friendship tricky, but with all the modern technologies we now have, it’s important we use them!