HOW TO ASK IF THEY’RE OK

In support of R U OK? Day on September 13, here are some constructive ways to reach out to loved ones

In 2016, there were 2866 deaths due to suicide in Australia – an absolutely heartwrenching statistic. R U OK? Day is a crucial day on the calendar to help raise awareness and funds for mental health across the country.

In a bid to help save the lives of those we hold near and dear, Lysn psychologist Noosha Mehmanli Anzab gives her advice on how to actually ask the question, not only on September 13, but every day of the year.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR

“The biggest signs to look out for are if the person becomes withdrawn – either gradually or suddenly – by isolating him or herself, avoiding social interactions or no longer participating in activities they usually enjoy,” Noosha explains. “Excessive tearfulness and an overall ‘flatness’ are also important things to watch for.”

Changes in behaviour, such as participating in reckless or self-destructive behaviour are also warning signs, as are increased drug and alcohol usage. It can also be a lot more subtle, such as a different or negative attitude.

HOW TO REACH OUT AND ASK

“Start the conversation by asking how they’ve been feeling lately,” says Noosha. “Perhaps say that you’ve noticed they’ve looked down lately and you want to help. Express that everyone goes through ups and downs and what they’re going through is normal.”

Noosha also suggests using lots of “I” statements such as, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling down lately,” rather that “you” statements, which can come across as blaming.

And of course, make sure you let the person know that you’re there to support them no matter what and if you can’t help, there’s always someone who can.

NEXT STEPS

“If the matter is urgent and you’re worried the person might harm themselves, please call 000 immediately,” says Noosha. “For less urgent matters, there are free, over-the-phone services a person can turn to, like Lifeline and Beyond Blue.”

“Lysn provides access to trained psychologists via phone or video chat, which can be accessed from the comfort of their own home,” Noosha says. For more information, visit ruok.org.au