Start the school year STRONG!
Prepare your child to enter 2021 with courage
Being resilient is something we can grow to become, and there are ways for parents to prepare their child to face challenges ahead. Adam Voigt, former school principal, author and founder and CEO of Real Schools, shares four ways to foster resilience.
SELF-TALK
Share the story of somebody who has overcome great odds to succeed. It can be somebody you know or somebody famous. Ask what they think goes on in that person’s mind when faced with difficulty and explore how useful that thinking is. It’s then possible to discuss what happens in our own minds.
Is our self-talk about defeatism and catastrophe like, “I hadn’t planned for this question on the exam and now I’m really screwed”?
Could we flip that self-talk into something positive and optimistic? We can choose to think, “I’ve prepared for this. It’s not expected but I can handle it. Take a deep breath, I’ll be alright.”
FIND A RESILIENCE HERO
Too regularly kids equate fame with success, but the truth is that very few people succeed without perseverance and the hard work born of a resilient disposition.
Spark a conversation, for example, about Jessica Watson, who solo circumnavigated the world as a 16-year-old. Can you imagine how she felt the first time she looked over her shoulder and realised she was completely alone?
Or watch a Looney Tunes cartoon and discuss the never-give-up attitude of Wile E Coyote. See how he persists in the face of painful tragedy without giving up on his goal or using the same tactic twice. There are resilient heroes everywhere for us to look up to, removing the focus away from overnight sensations and luck.
EXTEND SUPPORT NETWORKS
Kids who are resilient don’t keep all of their support eggs in one basket. They tend to have plenty of human resources they can turn to when things are tough.
Connect your child to people you know who are resourceful, subject matter experts or who are resilient types themselves. Respect their connections with friends who have these qualities, too: sometimes the best friend to have is one who’s had it tough in life.
MOVING RESILIENCE
Every teacher knows a student who would finish a football match with a broken ankle, but who falls to pieces when asked to add fractions. True resilience isn’t context-specific and resilient people don’t just have the capacity to be resilient in their favourite places. They can move their resilience.
Encourage your child to embrace new experiences – even uncomfortable ones – in areas where they struggle or feel a little foolish.
Every opportunity for your child to overcome frustration, to battle in vain and to deal with the potential of royally screwing up is an opportunity to build their resilience.
What are you doing for your child, right now, that they could be doing themselves?
Start with handing them that risk.