The animal whisperer
AMANDA DE WARREN Australia’s top pet psychic
It’s not your fault, Mum
AMANDA SAYS Alfie comes straight to me and says he has unfortunately passed. He shows me the wild storm that raged that night, how he managed to escape and how he was sadly attacked by another dog. He wants Narelle to know it was not her fault and that he loves her still just as much as he did when he was alive. Alfie misses his human dad, who he utterly adored, and tells me about the chair he would often sit in with him. Alfie tells me his brother Teo, who was born in the same litter, is still alive and they connect often, which brings his sibling a great sense of peace. Teo and Alfie will be turning eight soon.
NARELLE SAYS I reached out to Amanda because Alfie went in a horrific way and I blamed myself, so I needed to contact him to say I’m sorry. Amanda was very helpful, and I’m sure Alfie was there to let me know he was OK. She also talked to some other dogs that had passed, and assured me they were all well and with my mum and dad.
If you’d like a reading, write to Amanda at Woman’s Day, GPO Box 5245, Sydney, NSW 2001, or email womansday@aremedia.com.au with your name, photo and number.
Leading a healthy lifestyle is about more than what you eat or how much exercise you get. One of the single best things that you can do for your wellbeing is to spend lots of time with friends!
As we get older, making new friends can also become more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean that you should give up.
“Having friends greatly enhances both physical and mental health. In fact, only smoking cessation has a bigger positive effect on health than friendships,” says psychologist Gordon Spence.
Not only do friends give you emotional support when you need it, social bonding can also trigger feelgood endorphins and even bolster our immune system. As we head into retirement, our social network becomes even more important.
“Friendships are very important in later life because the transition into retirement often brings a shrinking of one’s personal relationships and social network,” Gordon adds. “Not only do friends provide practical and emotional support, the stimulation of friendships can also help to keep people mentally sharp and physically active.”
HOW TO GET STARTED
If your social circle is shrinking, it’s time to get out there and meet new people. “One of the best ways to meet new friends in older adulthood is through physical activity,” says Gordon. “While lawn bowls and golf are stereotypically seen as good social connectors for retirees, other physical pursuits – like dragon boat racing – have become increasingly popular with many people over 50.”
An added bonus is that exercise often becomes enjoyable when you have a buddy with you. “This sort of team-based physical pursuit can be extremely beneficial as they provide safe opportunities for physical exertion, while also providing people with a sense of common purpose, social identity and access to a positive, uplifting
environment co-created with like-minded others,” Gordon adds.
MAKING CONNECTIONS
If you’ve been out of the mix for a while, socialising can seem daunting. But just like any other skill, it’s something that gets better with practice.
“Show some interest in their story and try to find what’s common in your life experience and theirs,” says Gordon. “Try to make this a respectful level of curiosity and be careful to not ask too many questions too quickly. As no one likes to feel interrogated, try to get to know people by asking a few questions and scanning their answers for points of common interest, experience, or points of view.”
Avoid questions that put people on the spot. “While most people like to start by saying, ‘What do you do for work?’, some people may be embarrassed by what they do, or dislike talking about their work, so you could be off to a bad start,” says Gordon.
“Also, a person’s job can trigger all sorts of stereotypes – for example, accountants are boring – so you might start with a biased first impression.”
MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS
Friendships are like plants – they need time and effort in order to thrive. “Reciprocity in friendships is really important,”says Gordon. “Whenever people take more than they give to friendships, the other friend will start to suffer.”
That means surrounding yourself with people who have your back, but also being a supportive friend too. “Be open about it and occasionally check-in with your friend about how ‘we’ are going,” Gordon suggests. “That allows you to make any adjustments that might be needed.”