Language reference
Here are some examples of the language you can use in different types of conversations with staff members about their motivation, as discussed in the main text.
a) “I have too much to do”
Offer help:
How can I help?
Can you offload anything on to me?
Enrich the other person’s role:
So, what do you enjoy doing?
How can we reorganize your role?
Show appreciation:
You’re doing a great job.
The team really admires what you do.
b) “It’s not my job”
Make an exception:
Could you do it just this once?
This is an exception for this particular project.
Check accountability:
OK, whose role is it?
Is there someone else I should ask?
Accept objections:
Good point. I will ask…
Yes, from a legal point of view, I guess I should talk to…
c) “I’m not very good at…”
Investigate the idea:
Why do you say you’re not good at… ? What do you understand by… ?
Challenge the idea:
I think … really means…
For me, it’s not really that. It’s more about…
Challenge the self-view:
I don’t agree. I think you’re very good at…
But you have excellent … skills and that’s what’s really important.
d) “I can’t work with these people”
Clarify perceptions:
Why do you say that he was unprofessional?
Do you think that’s what she really meant?
Provide an alternative interpretation:
Maybe he was simply trying to be creative?
Maybe she just prefers clear structures.
Encourage clarification:
Why don’t you ask him why he thinks… ?
You could ask her directly what her reasons were.
e) “I don’t want to work at that level. I hate the politics”
Encourage self-belief:
I have no doubt that you could be a very good manager.
You have the skills needed to be successful in senior management.
Discuss work-life balance:
So, how could you maintain a healthy work-life balance?
Maybe you could delegate more of your tasks.
Provide alternatives:
I don’t think this is really about “politics”. It’s simply alternative viewpoints.
I think mentoring can be a great solution because…
Ask about the consequences of taking no action:
And what happens if you don’t go for this promotion?
Wouldn’t you prefer to be the one making the decisions?