The Joys of Flying . . .

VOCABULARY

You would have had to be living on another planet to have missed the story about the American doctor, David Dao, who was dragged from his overbooked United Airlines flight, two weeks ago. He had paid for his ticket, like everyone else, but he was forcibly removed from the plane. When he tried to refuse, the police knocked him out, broke his nose and he lost his two front teeth. The footage, which was taken by other passengers on their mobile phones, shocked the world and we had to ask ourselves, if this could ever happen to us? Is air travel becoming so cheap that the companies are allowed to get away with such treatment?

I do realise that I am the first one to brag about getting a cheap flight from Salzburg to England or Germany, I even wrote about it in my last column. However, the more I fly, the more I realise, that flying at such cheap prices comes at a cost.

Only a few weeks ago, I flew to England from my favourite Salzburg airport, for €60 return. Usually, I arrive at the airport an hour before takeoff and sail through security within a few minutes, managing to exchange a few pleasant words with the police woman who gently pats me down. For some strange reason, my body always sets the alarm off. Then there is always plenty of time to spend a penny, treat myself toa hugely overpriced bottle of mineral water (why do airport cafes rip passengers off so much, knowing that they can’t bring their drinks through with them?) and buy the compulsory Mozart’s Balls for my mother, who loves them.

That weekend was different and I soon realised that I was not the only one taking advantage of the bargain flights. I later heard that over 200 flights had taken off and landed that day. It was total chaos as the departure hall was packed full of people holding skis and snow boards, not quite sure of where they were going. All passengers for Britain were sent to terminal two, where I had never been before except to attend the wonderful "Sports Person of the Year" gala. Many people looked frustrated and confused as we were sent to the security area and a drunken Irishman almost attacked me when I was sent to a second conveyer belt, saying that I had pushed in. His language was so abusive that I wanted to call the police, but realised that I might miss my flight if I did so. I think that airports bring out the worst in people.

Many years ago, flying was considered a luxury and part of the holiday. I used to live in Switzerland and always flew with British Airways to England. In those days, one was welcomed on board, the seats were comfortable (even if you weren’t in Business class) and the cabin crew treated you as though you were their guest and welcome on board, not an inconvenience that must be dealt with as quickly as possible. Everyone was served a complimentary drink with their rather delicious meal, which came with real cutlery. This would not be allowed today, for security reasons. Just recently, I saw a photograph from the 70s (the golden age of air travel) of a Scandinavian Airlines attendant in a waistcoat and apron. He was standing in the aisle behind his trolley, carving a whole leg of ham into slices to serve to the passengers. Of course, this would also not be allowed today for religious and big-knife related issues. Airlines used to hand out wet towels and complimentary newspapers and you really got the impression that the cabin crew enjoyed their jobs. Yes, those were the days.

Years ago, flying was very expensive and only the privileged few could afford it. These days the competition between airlines is so great, the staff are underpaid and the threat of a terrorist attack is always with us. That is why we are driving to Croatia next week. to cope – bewältigen to drag – zerren to forcibly remove – mit Gewalt entfernen to refuse – sich weigern to knock sbd. out – jmd. bewusstlos schlagen the footage – Filmmaterial such treatment – solche Behandlung to brag – angeben, prahlen return – hin und zurück takeoff – Start to sail through – durchsegeln to pat sbd. down – jmd. abtasten to spend a penny – aufs WC gehen to treat oneself – sich etw. gönnen hugely overpriced – enorm überteuert to rip sbd. off – jmd. ausnehmen compulsory – obligatorisch to take advantage of – ausnutzen conveyer belt – Förderband to push in – sich vordrängen abusive – ausfällig to miss a flight – einen Flug verpassen considered – betrachtet in those days – damals an inconvenience – eine Belästigung to deal with sth. – sich mit etw. befassen complimentary – gratis real cutlery – echtes Besteck waistcoat – Weste apron – Schürze the aisle – der Gang trolley – Servierwagen to carve – aufschneiden a leg of ham – ein ganzer Beinschinken those were the days – das waren noch Zeiten to afford – sich leisten können competition – Konkurrenz threat – Bedrohung