Peggy’s Place

In Spotlights ganz eigenem Pub treibt sich mitten in der Nacht ein ungebetener Gast herum – oder haben die eigenartigen Geräusche vielleicht eine andere Ursache? Von INEZ SHARP

Visit Spotlight’s very own London pub

Peggy: What on earth is that huge parcel you’ve got there?

Sean: It’s the floor lamp I bought last week for my flat. I told you about it.

George: Why’s it all wrapped up?

Sean: I’m taking it back. It just doesn’t look good, and I can’t read by it either. Peggy: Didn’t it come in a box?

Sean: Yes, but I was so convinced that it would be perfect standing beside my new sofa that I threw the box away.

George: That’s some imaginative packaging for you!

Sean: Well, there are three glass shades, and they’re really delicate, so I took a lot of care wrapping it all up.

Peggy: Where did you buy it?

Sean: Oh, in this designer lighting shop in the West End. I’ve had my eye on it for ages. It cost a fortune.

George: Will they take it back?

Sean: I called them today, and they said they would — as long as it’s in perfect nick, of course. I’ll go there first thing tomorrow. As we’re about to shut up, can I leave it here, just till tomorrow, Peggy?

Peggy: Of course, love! Put it behind the bar, where it’ll be safe.

George: OK, I’m off. See you all soon. Sean: Can I leave you to lock up, Peggy? Then I can go out with George.

Peggy: That’s fine, dear! Good night! George & Sean: Good night!

Peggy: (to herself) Right, that’s locked. Now, I’ll leave the door open here to the stairs. Phil will be home any minute. (phone rings) Hello, Phil!...yes, I’m on my way upstairs to the flat... In a couple of minutes? OK, fine. See you then. Bye!

(loud crash) Peggy: What was that? (another, smaller crashing sound) Peggy: It’s coming from downstairs. Either from the kitchen or the bar. I’d better call Phil. (whispering) Phil, it’s me. I think there’s a burglar in the pub… What should I do? … Nothing here except that big old umbrella someone left behind... Through the back door? Right, I’ll wait for you on the stairs.

(a few minutes later) Phil: (whispering) Are you there, Peggy? Why have you switched off the light? Peggy: I thought it would be harder for the burglar to find his way around, but we know the pub.

Phil: Good point! Have you got that umbrella?

Peggy: Shouldn’t we just call the police? Phil: No, I’m going to deal with this. Just wait till I get my hands on that...

Peggy: Oh, my God! There’s a body! Can you see the feet sticking out from behind the bar?

Phil: Yes, stay back. He’s probably trying to trick us by lying down. Nothing that a good hard blow to the head won’t cure. Here goes!

Peggy: Funny, that sounded like breaking glass. Try prodding him.

Phil: You’re right. He’s a funny shape, too, and he’s not moving. Put the light on.

Peggy: Oh, no! It can’t be! Yes, it is! It’s Sean’s lamp.

Phil: Well, you can understand my mistake. It doesn’t look like a lamp, does it? More like a mummy. What the hell is he doing leaving it in the bar, anyway?

Peggy: I’ll explain in a moment. Let me take a look... Oh, no! Broken into a thousand pieces. Can you pour me an extra large brandy?

“Can you see the feet sticking out from behind the bar?”