Grammar Tales

Erinnern Sie sich an das englische Märchen Goldlöckchen und die drei Bären? Hier stellen wir Ihnen eine moderne Version vor – zum Schmunzeln und zum Englischlernen. Von DAGMAR TAYLOR

A fairy tale for learners

We all know at least a few fairy tales: Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood or Sleeping Beauty. The structure of these tales is familiar to us. They begin with the phrase “Once upon a time…” and use repetitive language to create drama: “Grandma, what big teeth you have! Grandma, what big ears you have!”

We have rewritten 24 famous fairy tales for the 21st century. Each one includes examples of a specific grammatical structure. This structure is explained in the notes at the end, where you will also find some related exercises. This month, we present a new version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, reinvented here as “Goldi Lox and the three Daves”.

Goldi Lox and the three Daves

Once upon a time in a far-off land, Goldi Lox and her band, The Three Daves, were on tour together on a luxury bus. One night, after a gig, Goldi was freaking out. “Dave! DAVE!” screamed Goldi. “What?” shouted the three Daves. “Who’s been eating my chocolate again?”

“It wasn’t me,” said Big Dave.

“Not me,” said Medium-sized Dave. “It definitely wasn’t me,” said Little Dave. “Anyway, there’s still loads in the cupboard.”

“That’s not the point,” complained Goldi. “Half of it’s gone. I’ve told you before, my room is OFF LIMITS!”

The three Daves sighed.

Things in the bus were disappearing and then reappearing elsewhere. It was driving Goldi up the wall. The Daves were getting on her nerves, too. She loved making music with them, and they were all good blokes, but she hated living with them. Big Dave, a gentle bear of a man and the band’s drummer, passed wind often and loudly. Medium-sized Dave was untidy and never put the toilet seat down. And the bassist, Little Dave, had a foot infection and had the habit of taking off his socks after a gig and using them to rub off the flaky skin between his toes.

“DAVE!” Goldi would snap, disgusted. “Oh, yeah, sorry,” Little Dave would say. “Nearly finished.”

As well as having to put up with the less-than-ideal living conditions, Goldi had been feeling a lot of pressure lately. She was very aware that the livelihood of her bandmates and crew depended on her, the star. Sometimes, she just wanted to give it all up and go back to her job as a hairdresser. The band might be successful, but she had no private life and was worried that she’d never be able to find the right guy and start a family.

One evening before the gig, Goldi was particularly stressed.

“Dave! DAVE!” screamed Goldi. “What?” shouted the three Daves. “Who’s been sitting on my sofa? The cushions are all on the floor and I can’t find my favourite blanket!”

The three Daves looked down. Little Dave shrugged, Medium-sized Dave shook his head and Big Dave said: “Sorry Goldi, but we all know that we’re not allowed on your sofa.”

Goldi glared at him and flounced out of the bus. The Daves followed.

Once on stage, Goldi seemed to relax and, after the first song, looked round at the Daves and grinned. She was enjoying herself again. And the Daves were, too. In the middle of the third song, however, everything went black. The audience booed. The band soon found out that the power cut was citywide. They waited for

the power to come back on, but after 15 minutes, security asked everyone to leave.

The band walked back to the coach. “That’s weird,” said Little Dave.

“What?” asked the others.

“I know I closed all the windows and that one’s open — look,” said Little Dave.

“Don’t tell me some crazy fan is stealing our belongings to sell on ebay,” complained Goldi. “Should we call security?”

“No, it’s all right,” said Big Dave. “I’ll go in first.” Slowly, Big Dave opened the door. There was nothing to be heard from within. Dave flicked on the light and signalled to the others to follow him.

“Somebody’s been using my towel!” said Little Dave, picking it up from the floor. “And it’s all wet.”

“Somebody’s been drinking my cola!” said Medium-sized Dave, pointing towards the table. “And they’ve finished it.”

“Somebody’s been using my laptop!” said Big Dave. “Now the battery’s dead!”

The three Daves suddenly noticed that Goldi wasn’t with them. They found her kneeling beside her bed, looking at the face of a young boy who was fast asleep. He was clutching a ragged-looking bear.

“This explains everything,” whispered Goldi. “This boy has been sleeping in my bed, and he’s still here.”

The boy suddenly opened his eyes, and as soon as he realized that the four band members were all staring at him, he sat upright. With a terrified look on his face, he tried to get out of bed. Goldi put her hand on the boy’s shoulder and, smiling, gently pushed him back down.

“Do you think he’s a refugee?” whispered Little Dave.

“Mama? Papa?” asked Goldi.

The boy seemed to understand and drew a finger across his throat. Then, with the same finger, he pointed at Goldi, “Peng! Peng!” he said, and then fell back on to the pillow and, hiding his face, he let out a single sob. Big Dave wiped his eyes.

Goldi stroked the boy’s hair. “It’s OK. You’re safe here. We’ll look after you.”

The band members left Goldi’s bedroom and Goldi softly closed the door.

“God, I’ve been such a cow,” said Goldi. “I’m so lucky and I’ve been so ungrateful.”

“Are you going to call the police?” asked Little Dave.

“No,” said Goldi. “The police won’t know what to do with him either. The poor boy looked so scared. Maybe he can stay with us and help out with the equipment or something. And we can carefully find out from the authorities how we can best help him.”

So that’s what they did. And after a while, Goldi was even allowed to adopt the boy. Goldi never complained again, and they all lived happily ever after.