Memorable insults and comebacks

Anyone can shout a four-letter insult in a moment of anger, but it takes real skill to be able to come up with an elegant jibe that is repeated for years to come. Here are some of the most famous:

“I like your opera. I think I will set it to music.”

Ludwig van Beethoven to another composer

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

American writer Mark Twain

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

American journalist Ambrose Bierce

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”

Irish author George Bernhard Shaw

“My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.”

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill to Lady Astor, the first female Member of Parliament, when she called him “disgustingly drunk”

“Nancy, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

Winston Churchill, after being informed by Lady Astor that if she were married to him, she would poison his coffee

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

American actress Mae West in her film Belle of the Nineties

“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.”

Author Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., in his novel Timequake

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

Film-maker Billy Wilder while listening to an actor sing

“People always ask me the same question, they say, ‘Is Boris a very, very clever man pretending to be an idiot?’ And I always say, ‘No.’”

Private Eye editor Ian Hislop about Boris Johnson

“And how long have you been cutting your own hair?”

American television host David Letterman to Boris Johnson on The Late Show in June 2012