American Life
Unsere Kolumnistin verbringt einen Teil des Jahres an ihrem Zweitwohnsitz – was bedeutet, dass sie sich einen zweiten Freundeskreis zulegen muss…
Ginger Kuenzel on finding new friends in a new place
Last year, I decided to flee the snow and ice of my upstate New York home and spend the winter in the Deep South. After all, as the dish towel in my Florida kitchen proclaims: “Here we salt margaritas, not sidewalks.” This seems to me to be a far better use of salt! I became so excited about creating an endless summer for myself that I bought a condo in a beachside town and have made it my winter home.
Of course, moving to a new town, where
I didn’t know a single soul, presented some challenges. Aside from locating the nearest grocery store, a favorite hair salon, or a reliable handyman, I had to work out where to find my “peeps” — by which I mean people who are like-minded. I figured the best thing to do was to sign up for activities I enjoy. So, I joined a gym, where I play pickleball and have met lots of people who also love that sport. Since the courts are crowded and we spend a lot of time waiting to play, there are plenty of opportunities to chat. But just because someone plays the same sport as me doesn’t mean they’re on my wavelength politically. In fact, I’ve discovered lots of people here in southern Florida who, unlike me, are passionate supporters of our current president. And so I’ve learned to stick to neutral topics, such as how to improve my pickleball shots.
I also joined two writers’ groups. My favorite one has members who write interesting pieces, are supportive of each other, and absolutely love every piece that I read to them. Hmm. Why wouldn’t I love this group? Everyone’s welcome, but there is the occasional individual who just doesn’t fit in. Like the woman who showed up one day and asked to be the first to read — already a bad sign. She then spent five minutes telling us about her advanced degrees and why her opinion on the topic at hand was far better than anyone else’s. By the time she got around to reading from her work, her allotted time was up. The president let her go on for a while but finally interrupted and thanked her. She was shocked and annoyed that we didn’t want to hear her entire manuscript. “It’s clear that you’re all just frivolous writers,” she said at the end of the meeting. Yeah, not a good fit. She hasn’t been back since.
My other writers’ group is less fun. The members like to argue about word usage. I recently read them a piece about my foray into East Germany in early 1989 in which I wrote that my passport had been confiscated. One member spoke up, saying that “confiscate” means to “take something away permanently”. Since I was in the US now, he argued, I obviously got it back. A somewhat heated discussion started, during which half the group was on my side and half on his. This might not be the right group for me. I don’t like arguing. But if I do decide to give it another go, I’ll be sure to take a dictionary.