I’m so sorry!

Die Briten haben den Ruf, ausgesprochen höflich zu sein. Das gilt im Übrigen auch für britische Hunde und in besonderem Maße für deren Besitzer. Der Hund unserer Kolumnistin zumindest ist ein echter Gentleman.

Sorry” is a very useful word for dog owners. On our morning walks, it’s often the first word I say, and the first word I hear from other dog owners. It’s because of all the interesting smells. We’ll be walking along the pavement when, suddenly, my dog will wander off to the right or left, on the trail of an irresistible new smell, and into the path of a person who has to make way for him. “Sorry,” I say.

“That’s OK,” says the passer-by.

Last week, we met an overexcited puppy in the park. The sniffing of areas we humans consider private went on a lot longer than usual. “Sorry,” his owner apologized, “he’s so embarrassing.”

I like to think that my dog is polite by nature. He’s generally a respectful and gentlemanly family member. For example, he always asks permission to sit on the sofa. He doesn’t say, “May I join you?” or “Is this seat taken?” but he’ll stand next to the sofa trying to catch my attention, waiting for me to say, “Up!”

Last night, he took this politeness to an extreme. He whined outside my bedroom in the middle of the night. When I opened the door, he immediately turned in the direction of the living room, looking over his shoulder to make sure I was following. He led me to the sofa, wagging his tail low, in highfrequency strokes, as if he were rubbing out a mistake beneath him. “OK. Up.” I heard myself say, and up he jumped, before making himself comfortable and closing his eyes.

How could I say no? He usually sleeps in his bed, but we’ve only just moved, and he’s not quite settled yet. And, besides, it was good of him to ask.

Of course, he’s not always so polite, especially when he’s hungry. “WOOF. WOOF. WOOF,” he’ll bark, which, translated, means: “GIVE. ME. FOOD!”

“Say ‘please’,” I’ll tell him, stupidly.

When we’re outside, my dog forgets his indoor manners and can be very greedy. He believes he’s invited to all the picnics, and has learned that the bottoms of prams often hold delicious treats.

I’ll never forget the time he took a muffin from the hand of a small child, who happened to be carrying it at a convenient height. I was terribly embarrassed and, in the time it took the child to realize the muffin was inside my dog, I had said “sorry” umpteen times. As the child cried, his older sister joining in, his mum laughed it off, telling me that her children were “tired and emotional”.

Since the muffin incident, I’ve become very good at spotting potential treats that might come our way and getting my dog on his lead fast. Though he may be well-behaved indoors, outside, he’s an animal. So sorry. I do apologize!