Not ready to be his wife
I KNOW MOST girls look forward to finding Mr Right, getting married and having babies. Well, I don’t.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I just turned 20 and we have lived together for the past year and a half.
Don’t get me wrong: I love him, but I feel like we moved too fast into our relationship and now he’s trying to keep it moving as quickly as possible.
He brings up the subject of marriage all the time. I think he is going to propose but I don’t want to get married at this stage.
What should I say if he pops the question? I don’t want him to be angry with me if I say no. Dear K.K.,
I believe you when you say you moved too quickly into your relationship. You shouldn’t be shacking up at 18.
Not wanting to upset someone would be a very poor reason for getting married. If your boyfriend pops the question, just tell him you’re not ready for that kind of commitment. Also, tell him the relationship is moving too quickly and you don’t think that moving in together was a good idea.
If he becomes angry, that’s not a cue to say yes. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready. Either he is willing to wait or he’s not. If he’s not, then he is not Mr Right. – CHRISTINE Dear L.B.,
You’re right. Until this man is legally divorced, you really cannot accept any marriage proposal, or should you purchase any land or house together.
As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even be living together.
If he is not making plans to finalise that divorce, give him an ultimatum. That’s the best you can do now.
He may be “good” to you and your children, but he needs to make a clean, legal break from his wife. Until he does that, you are simply living with an adulterer who cannot give you the secure future you so badly need.