World without men, ah-women
THE GRADUATE was a 1967 movie based on a novel by Charles Webb, who wrote it shortly after graduating from college. At a party in his honour, Ben, the graduate, is offered valuable advice from a former professor: “Plastics, get into plastics. There’s a great future there!”
Fast-forward to a Business Authority article (April 16, 2018) Deal With The Plastic Problem: “In 2014, it was approximated that 46 000 pieces of plastic cover every square mile of ocean floor . . . at least two-thirds of the world’s fish are suffering from plastic ingestion!”
Scientists, like economists, are great at coming back later and telling us what went wrong. They’re much less cautious when launching their new methods and products. We wantonly sprayed DDT in the house for mosquitoes. Penicillin ointment was put on every cut. Years later a doctor gave me penicillin tablets for an ear infection. I swelled up like a frog and broke out in sores. “If I had given you an injection”, he happily told me later, “it would probably have killed you”.
As one scientist admitted: “You can’t do all the tests.” Who could’ve known that a drug given at a particular month in pregnancy would cause babies to be born without arms? Scientists have drawn up plans to blast a whole new Panama Canal using nuclear bombs. Radioactive fallout and jobs cut from over 15 000 to less than 1 000? That can be managed . . . we hope. Now they tell us Roundup and mosquito coils can cause cancer.
The risk of negative impacts in no way deters scientists from thrusting us into a new world where people seem to matter little. Bank jobs are being lost by the thousands to automatic machines. Remember that sweet interaction between you and a sexy teller when she asked: “How would you like it?” And you would look her over with your imagination running wild. “Any way you like,” you would gasp. That’s gone forever.
They even think it’s more efficient. I recently called Flow to report that a line had dislodged from a pole in high winds and was resting on my garage.
I had to waste considerable time listening to a robot voice checking my line: “Still checking, please hold.” I wanted to scream: “Listen, woman, I know there’s nothing wrong with my line. The line that is down is the one left when you installed the fibre optic cable!” Progress through technology, they call it.
Recently Peter Webster introduced me to the world tomorrow: no more mechanic shops. All cars will be electric. If the motor malfunctions, you drive up to something like a car-wash. In ten minutes, two robots will have installed a new motor while you have a coffee.
For the record, recently, I had a great time interacting with real humans at Ronald Alleyne’s garage while having a shock absorber bushing changed on my pick-up. I had a goat in the back and everyone assumed she was going for service. “Carry she by George Payne,” people advised. “He got up signs saying he ‘ready to serve’!”
While one mechanic changed the bushing, another big-guts fellow went down on all-fours and let go a thunderous (and smelly) poop. “Wunna hear that?” he boasted, “that is gas!” The bushing was changed in less than a minute.
Poops promote productivity, apparently.
Continuing Webster: no more gas stations, oil industry. Instead UBER taxis, cars that drive themselves, Airbnb hotels, computers taking over from lawyers, doctors. And so on.
Harold Skeete countered with predictions for 2059: “Ozone from electric cars killing millions . . . . Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage
. . . . France taken over by Jamaica . . . . Average weight of Americans drops to 250 pounds . . . . Global cooling wrecking crops . . . . Supreme Court rules that any punishment of criminals violates their human rights . . . Law requires licences for all nail-clippers, screwdrivers, fly-swatters and rolled-up newspapers”.
Fear science, my friends. Eminent Professor Frank Fenner of Australia predicts humans will be extinct
(“the situation is irreversible”) in another 100 years.
Meanwhile, the Chinese have produced babies from female mice, no males involved. “Hope for same-sex couples
(only female apparently) wanting to have children”. They won’t need us no more, fellows. World without men, ah-women!