Wa I real con­fuse

UK Barbados Nation - - NEWS - By

EI­THER I GET­TING too old or the world gine ’long and leav­ing me, but nowa­days I get­ting real con­fuse.

Like for in­stance, my in­sur­ance com­pany once wrote me a let­ter, telling me that they needed me to bring in proof of my ad­dress.

So I took in the same let­ter they wrote to me, and told them that this was the proof that I lived there, ’cause I get the let­ter.

They said that ain’t good enough, I needed to bring a util­ity bill. Well, I told them that if their let­ter to me, which I re­ceived was not enough ev­i­dence, then a util­ity bill was the same thing.

And that was ’bout five years ago and I ain’t pay them no more mind with that, ’cause re­ally and truly them had me con­fuse.

Hey, now here re­cently, I was at a med­i­cal place fill­ing out a form. As usual with them kinda forms, it asked for my name, ad­dress and date of birth. But when it got to “sex”, it asked me to tick one, and it read, “I iden­tify as”, and here were the choices; male, fe­male, trans­gen­der or other.

Now, first of all, one time a form like that would just have “sex?” . . . male or fe­male. Now it ask­ing you what you iden­tify as.

Now, I know that I is a male and I have the plumb­ing to prove it. I also know what a fe­male is and I also have a pretty good idea what a trans­gen­der per­son is.

But up to now no­body can’t tell me what this “other” stands for. So, I could only as­sume that it means that you iden­tify as an an­i­mal or vac­uum cleaner or some other thing.

Any­how, I gine down fur­ther on the form and I get to a part bout sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion. It had, ho­mo­sex­ual, bi-sex­ual, les­bian, het­ero­sex­ual, and other. This “other” again.

Well, I know what the first four meant, but what is the “other”? ’Cause to me, you ei­ther like sex with man, or woman, or both, so the only thing I could think ’bout is that “other” would have to mean that you like hav­ing sex with an­i­mals or vac­uum clean­ers. Se­ri­ously, I left that place real con­fused.

Like last week, I turn­ing ’round in my house and hear the pipe at the side of the house run­ning real hard. So I rush out­side to see if it had bro­ken away or some­body had dam­aged it and went long.

’Cause re­cently, I had a un­der­ground leak, and one month my wa­ter bill came in for over $1 000, and I had to pay a man $500 to find the leak and re­pair it. So right now, I does be watch­ing my wa­ter bill like a mother hen watch­ing a chick.

Any­how, when I get out­side, I see a woman un­der the pipe wash­ing off her feet. She looked at me, ain’t say ‘good morn­ing’ nor noth­ing so, all she said was: “Skip­per, I thief­ing some of your wa­ter”, and con­tin­ued wash­ing off her feet.

So, I stood there con­fused and watch­ing her, till she fi­nally told me that she was tak­ing a short cut across the va­cant lot next to me and stepped in a pool of muddy wa­ter.

Then, she turned off the pipe but it was still drip­ping, but as she walked past me I said: “Yuh left de pipe drip­ping, though”, and her re­ply was: “Turn it off for me, I in a hurry to get up the road to catch the bus”. Up to now, she ain’t say thanks or noth­ing so.

Well, well, well. Now, day be­fore I heard the pipe run­ning again, and when I look out­side I see the same very woman un­der my pipe wash­ing off her feet again.

Again, she ain’t say good morn­ing or noth­ing so, all she said was: “It is me again”. See ya.

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