I confess Karma catches up with you
A LOT OF PEOPLE don’t believe in karma. But I do.
I believe the good that you do follows and so does the bad.
I used to hear my mum talk about that all of the time. She took my father’s womanising and drinking and never once retaliated.
When I complained that she was stupid to tolerate his actions, she told me one day he would have to pay.
Her words came to pass. In his late 50s, months after she left him, he had a stroke and had a miserable time for the few months he lived after that. He died alone and lonely.
My payback for my sins came recently. My boyfriend brought a woman into our house and had relations with her on our bed. It was a disrespectful act and demonstrated he cared little about our relationship.
Although I broke up with him, I knew I had that coming because I did the same thing to a married woman when I was barely out of my teens. Her husband was my first boyfriend and I used to take pleasure in having sex in the same bed he and his wife slept in. It used to make me laugh afterwards when I saw them at church looking like the perfect couple when I knew he used to enjoy being with me more than he did with her.
So yes, I deserved the horn my now ex-boyfriend gave me. It hurts like hell, but I will rebound from it because I believe I have paid my dues for my wickedness to that married woman and, I must admit, to my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, who I horned to get him.
I wanted him and took him from his then girlfriend because she was interested in marriage, not realising all he was about was sex. So the more I gave him, the less he wanted to see her, until he eventually broke it off with her. Then he turned around and did the same thing to me.
The whole episode got me thinking about men. I have come to the conclusion that they are like robots, programmed to act without conscience. That is the only way to explain why they cheat on their women and put them through hell. They would never like us to do the same thing to them, yet they continually do it to us.
But I am a realist: few men are ever faithful to their partners. So when I start looking for a relationship again, all I want is someone who has enough respect for me that when he steps out he is discreet about it, protects himself, and does it with someone who does not get into my face afterwards. I can’t take that.
But for some women, it seems that is all they know. They cheat with the man but when he would not leave his woman for them, they turn on the woman and try to blackball her into walking away from the relationship so they can get the man for themselves.
I feel women should not demean themselves by cursing other women over a man. When a woman gets involved with a man who has a woman she should be sensible enough to realise that the man is usually just out for sex – this is particularly true of married men. Few of them ever leave their wives.
If the man is living with his girlfriend or has a visiting relationship with her, then the outside woman may stand a chance of getting him for herself; but even then, when you get a man by such wicked means, you normally lose him in the same way.
What has me curious, though, is what my ex told the woman he cheated on me with. I don’t know what he promised her, but she obviously thought their relationship had a future because she would call his cellphone even after he reached home.
He used to keep the conversations brief, but because of the hushed tones he spoke in I realised he was trying to conceal something. After a few days of this I told him point blank that I felt he was up to something and he should come clean. As to be expected, he denied anything was amiss.
For nearly two weeks afterwards, he got home early every evening from work and switched off his phone as soon as he came through the door. The only time he used a phone was to speak with his brother and mother, and that was on our home phone.
Though those evenings together were terrific, it was clear that something was wrong. Maybe it was because he seemed to be trying so hard to relax or just my female intuition, having been an outside woman before. And I was right.
I would advise any woman who is in a relationship or pursuing one to recognise a couple of things so they would not get hurt.
One is that many men are afraid of an emotional connection but have all the time in the world for sex. If that man is reluctant to connect with you on a deeper emotional level, perhaps he is not the one for you.
Secondly, even though you have been hurt in the past and may have trust issues, you have got to get past that if you hope to connect emotionally to someone. If you are so closed off that you find it hard to share your innermost feelings with him, there will be little between you to establish the emotional bond that unites couples way past the initial lust phase.
So, as difficult as it is, you have to trust a man and leave yourself vulnerable in order to form that emotional bond needed for a long-term relationship. Good luck.