I'm Perfect, You're Doomed is the story of Kyria Abrahams's coming-of-age as a Jehovah's Witness -- a doorbell-ringing "Pioneer of the Lord." Her childhood was haunted by the knowledge that her neighbors and schoolmates were doomed to die in an imminent fiery apocalypse; that Smurfs were evil; that just about anything you could buy at a yard sale was infested by demons; and that Ouija boards -- even if they were manufactured by Parker Brothers -- were portals to hell. Never mind how popular you are when you hand out the Watchtower instead of candy at Halloween.
When Abrahams turned eighteen, things got even stranger. That's when she found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out. "Disfellowshipped" and exiled from the only world she'd ever known, Abrahams realized that the only people who could save her were the very sinners she had prayed would be smitten by God's wrath.
Raucously funny, deeply unsettling, and written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I'm Perfect, You're Doomed explores the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything's about to be destroyed.
"Kyria Abrahams, former teen bride of a doomsday cult and seeker of salvation in slam poetry, tells the terribly funny story of her improbable life with candor, wit, and an unsparing eye for the perfect detail. Brilliant." -- Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir
"The funniest book I've ever read by a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness from Pawtucket. Very funny. Very, very funny. Very, very, very funny." -- Janeane Garofalo
"Amazingly vivid and profoundly compelling. Twisted, touching, absurd, hilarious, and honest. A new kind of memoir." -- Wendy Spero, author of Microthrills
"Kyria Abrahams can do the 'coming-of-age in a sea of eternal hellfire' story like nobody else. Her tale of an adolescence in the ranks of the Jehovah's Witnesses is irresistible, thanks to her hilarious, sweet, and knowing narrator." -- Bob Powers, author of Happy Cruelty Day!
