Description

From the author of If I Can Give You That comes an emotional novel that follows a transgender teen who must grapple with a friendship fracturing and a new romance blossoming, all while being haunted by a devastating loss. A must-read for fans of How It Feels to Float and The Ghosts We Keep.

Caleb’s world broke the day his brother died of a drug overdose. Now in the throes of grief, Caleb hardly ever sees his friends anymore, and school isn’t much better. He’s on the verge of failing his songwriting class, never mind that music used to be his greatest passion. Even Tanya, his best friend, is growing tired of trying to push him back into his life.

But perhaps most concerning of all: A black cat has been following Caleb around…a cat that only he can see. A cat that may just be a ghost.

Then Caleb is assigned a songwriting partner in class: Emmett, the nonbinary lead singer of a local punk band. The cat takes a liking to Emmett—and maybe Caleb does, too. As they write together, Caleb begins opening up about his grief, and the two realize they have more in common than expected. Now Caleb will have to decide if he is ready to heal with Emmett’s help—or recede in life and become as invisible as the ghostly cat at his heel.


Can a new song—and a new love—help him find his way back to himself?


  • Transgender Protagonist: Caleb is just trying to survive his junior year, but grief over his brother has silenced his music and his heart.
  • Paranormal Mystery: A strange, faceless black cat has started following him… a ghostly companion only he can see.
  • Musician Romance: His new songwriting partner is Emmett, a nonbinary punk singer who seems to understand both the ghost cat and Caleb’s guarded heart.
  • YA Grief & Healing: An honest and moving exploration of grieving a brother lost to a drug overdose, and the difficult journey toward healing.

About the author(s)

Michael Gray Bulla is a recent graduate of Wells College. He was named the 2017 Nashville Youth Poet Laureate with Southern Word and is the author of the poetry collection Letters to the Home. He is also the cohost of the literary podcast Bookends. Gray's first book is If I Can Give You That, and his second is The Ghost of You. Originally from Nashville, Bulla currently resides in Ithaca, New York. Visit him online at michaelgraybulla.com or on Twitter or Instagram @graybulla.

Reviews

“The book has moments of rich emotion.” - Kirkus Reviews

“A moving novel about grief and the possibility of hope after loss. Bulla creates an open and inclusive narrative for the characters to share their experiences as ­LGBTQIA+ teens. ­This story is touching, heartbreaking, and poignant. A must for readers who enjoy complex ­emotional ­journeys.” - School Library Journal

“This book offers positive representation that will resonate with many young adult readers, especially fans of Meredith Russo and Kacen Callender.” - Booklist

"Laden with audience-engaging punk rock and emo music references and realistically depicting the casual access to drugs and alcohol in high school, this book explores the complex relationship between grief and love while tackling difficult subjects like addiction, substance abuse, abusive relationships, and suicide." - Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books

More by Michael Gray Bulla

More LGBTQ+

More Romance

More Young Adult Fiction

More Coming of Age

More New Experience

More Social Themes

More LGBTQ+

More Death, Grief, Bereavement

More Ghost Stories

More Friendship

More Music

More Performing Arts

More Drugs, Alcohol, Substance Abuse

More Depression