Description

Nominated for the Lambda Literary Award!

“An evocative story of the thrills of first love and the anguish of first loss. This will break you and heal you.” —Julie Murphy, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Dumplin’

Not to be missed by fans of Dustin Thao, Nina LaCour, and Becky Albertalli, this powerful novel from the acclaimed author of Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit paints a poignant portrait of love in the past, grief in the now, and the healing power of art.

Before: Jess has always struggled with the fire inside her. But when she meets Vivi, everything changes. As they fall for each other, Vivi helps Jess deal with her anger and pain and encourages her to embrace her artistic talent. And suddenly Jess’s future is a blank canvas, filled with possibilities.

After: When Vivi unexpectedly dies, Jess’s perfect world is erased. As she spirals out of control, Jess pushes away everyone around her and throws out her plans for art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Right when Jess feels at her lowest, she makes a surprising friend who just might be able to show her a new way to channel her rage, passion, and creativity. But will Jess ever be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi?

A beautiful exploration of first love and first loss, this novel effortlessly weaves together past and present to tell a profound story about how you can become whole again when it seems like you’ve lost the most important part of yourself.


  • Heartbreak and Healing: One moment, Jess and Vivi are planning a future together. The next, Jess is navigating a world without the girl who was her everything, forcing her to confront her own anger and sorrow.
  • An Artist’s Journey: Vivi encouraged Jess to channel her fire into art. But after the tragedy, can Jess pick up a pen again when every drawing is a reminder of what she’s lost?
  • Then and Now Narrative: Experience their love story as it unfolds in the past, interwoven with the raw, emotional reality of Jess’s grief in the present.
  • Found Family and Friendship: As Jess pushes away those closest to her, a surprising new friendship might be the only thing that can pull her back from the edge.

About the author(s)

Jaye Robin Brown is the critically acclaimed author of the young adult novels Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit and No Place to Fall. She lives in North Carolina with her dog, horses, and wife. You can visit her on Instagram @jayerobinbrown or online at www.jayerobinbrown.com.

Reviews

Praise for Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit: ★ “Funny, thoughtful, compassionate Jo is a delightful narrator. The frank portrayals of swearing, sexual activity, underage drinking, etc., neither titillate nor condemn; they just depict teens being authentic teens. While Jo and Mary Carlson are white, the rest of their friends display considerable diversity portrayed with nuance through each character’s words and actions. A sweet, sexy, honest teen romance that just happens to involve two girls—all the more charming for being so very ordinary.” - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

★“Faith matters in this book, but so do family, friends, and being funny. The dialogue is snappy—Joanna is sharp tongued and sometimes bratty—and the characters aren’t types. Rather, they’re individuals navigating a complicated world, which makes for a rich and satisfying read.” - Publishers Weekly (starred review)

★ “Brown orchestrates a fast-paced narrative that is powerful, moving, and relatable. This work will resonate with those who enjoy a female protagonist who is bold, brave, candid, and thoughtful. The language is realistic, and the author accurately captures queer and Southern cultures. Brown expertly describes the complex nuances of faith and sexuality. This plot-driven story is humorous, and the characters are effortlessly likable. Teens who root for underdogs will be pulling for this dream team of characters. For fans of David Levithan and John Green’s Will Grayson, Will Grayson; this title is a worthwhile purchase for all YA collections.” - School Library Journal (starred review)

“Readers will appreciate the compelling characters, the humor, and the romance. Anyone who enjoys the writing of John Green or Rainbow Rowell will find a sense of familiarity in Brown’s writing, and will be left longing for more.” - Teenreads.com

“A profoundly moving and exquisitely written story of love, loss, grief, and healing. These characters have imprinted on my heart and will be with me for a long, long time.” - Amy Reed, author of Beautiful and The Nowhere Girls

“A heart-wrenching journey through anger and grief, balanced on the sharp edge of hope.” - Malinda Lo, author of Ash and A Line in the Dark

Praise for The Meaning of Birds: “An evocative story of the thrills of first love and the anguish of first loss. This will break you and heal you.” - Julie Murphy, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Dumplin’

“An unforgettable story that resonated deep in my bones, The Meaning of Birds will break your heart and then put it right back together again. Jess and Vivi’s relationship was so beautiful and true. I loved them and didn’t want the story to end.”  - Amber Smith, New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be

“Prepare to cry, often—and to be thoroughly swept away into this subtle and utterly real story of grief and love and heartbreak and finding yourself in the middle of it all.” - Robin Talley, New York Times bestselling author of The Lies We Tell Ourselves and Our Own Private Universe

“Told in alternating “then” and “now” chapters, the moving narrative captures well the nonlinear progression of Jess’ grief and emotional growth. Frank and accessible, this gritty drama realizes with great compassion and empathy the ways reckoning with loss can manifest.” - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

★ “Frank and accessible, this gritty drama realizes with great compassion and empathy the ways reckoning with loss can manifest.” - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Affectionately rendered. Brown depicts Jess with raw realism.” - Publishers Weekly

“Brown’s exploration of loss is raw and devastating, placing readers directly into Jess’s turbulent experience. Captures the ambivalence of grief in this searing and ultimately hopeful novel. For fans of Jandy Nelson, Adam Silvera, and Nicola Yoon.” - School Library Journal

More by Jaye Robin Brown

More LGBTQ+

More Romance

More Young Adult Fiction

More Death, Grief, Bereavement

More Social Themes

More Contemporary

More Religious

More Coming of Age

More School & Education

More Religion & Faith

More Family

More Friendship