For fans of Aftershocks and How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America, an affective and deeply honest memoir in essays that “asks the deepest questions of identity, of home, of belonging” (Nick Flynn, author of Another Bullshit Night in Suck City).
When Theresa Okokon was nine, her father traveled to his hometown in Nigeria to attend his mother’s funeral…and never returned. His mysterious death shattered Theresa as her family’s world unraveled. Now a storyteller and television cohost, Okokon sets out to explore the ripple effects of that profound loss and the way heartache shapes our sense of self and of the world—for the rest of our lives.
Using her grief and her father’s death as a backdrop, “gifted storyteller” (Neema Avashai, author of Another Appalachia) Okokon delves deeply into intrinsic themes of Blackness, African spirituality, family, abandonment, belonging, and the seemingly endless, unrequited romantic pursuits of a Black woman who came of age as a Black girl in Wisconsin suburbs where she was—in many ways—always an anomaly.
“Who I Always Was is a coming-of-age memoir, where the narrator struggles to find her place in a new land, a place that also happens to be where she was born. A central wound haunts these pages, that of a father who returns to his homeland and never returns. This is an immigrant memoir that asks the deepest questions of identity, of home, of belonging.”
“Theresa Okokon is a gifted storyteller, and her gift is on full display in Who I Always Was. Each essay holds the heady mix of truth, humor and vulnerability that, for millennia, has kept us seated at the storyteller’s feet, asking for just one more story. Just one more.”
“The narrative voice in Okokon's memoir is a stunning example of excellent writing and storytelling. With remarkable skill, the author emotes honesty, vulnerability, desire, and determination in an unapologetic style that is both lovely and enviable. Okokon addresses issues of belonging, love, loss, and family with a deft touch, making the book impossible to put down. A stunning debut."
