Is it appropriate for a woman to propose to a man?

I had a chuckle the other day when watching a television soapie called Rhythm City, and a character lady called Sindiswa asked her boyfriend Sabelo to marry her, live on national radio, nogal! The guy was perplexed and his facial expression screamed: Lefatshe

hatoga ke tsene. It was a typical situation of, ‘it will end in tears.’

It is a leap year, and there are wide-held beliefs that during a leap year, women can throw caution to the wind and propose to men. Besides, it is the 21st century, and anything goes.

Is it such a bad idea for a woman to ask a man out? Probably not.

I am reminded of an incident where there was ridiculous “corridor talk” that I was dating or was interested in, some village bumpkin chap, who isn’t even my type to begin with. I ignored the speculation because I know how some people like fishing for “attention and fame” at others’ expense. But what pissed me off was how some airhead women, apparently the chap’s admirers and lovers, started giving me “attitude” and harassing me; passing me remarks and taunting me.

Nna ke bona fela ke tlhola ke setswe setswe morago ke maminanyana a masimo, ke ipotsa gore go labokae tota. Fa gongwe ke netse go perfomelwa, gotwe ke a kgotlhiwa. Nonsense! Kooteng ne ba ithaya ba re ke tla ba tseela

“boyfriend” ya bone. More irking is how the guy walked around with a smirk as it boosted his ailing ego to be the “centre of attention.”

I couldn’t understand why they were on my case, because since they adore Rasta, they could just ask him out and date him, without involving me.

Some women are usually hesitant to declare their feelings for men they are interested in, out of fear of rejection, or because they are shy. So instead, they will start performing at every chance, and have their fangs out at any woman they suspect to be romantically linked to their eternal crush. The problem is

that some women have the ‘batho ba tla reng’ complex and think they will be perceived as forward if they make the first move. Motho wa teng o tla nnela go icheipa, a batla go batliwa,

instead of cutting to the chase.

It is 2020; if you as a woman want a man, then ask him out. He might agree and be relieved that you asked him out because he was shy to ask you out. Even if he turns you down, it’s OK because you win some and you lose some.

In most communities, it is still considered taboo for a woman to ask a man out. This perception is rooted in the notion that men are biologically primal pursuers and enjoy the thrill of the chase. Furthermore, women who ask men out are often considered to be cheap and desperate ‘loose panties.’

However, times have changed, and with the advent of woman empowerment, more women are taking the bull by the horn, even in their love and sex lives; they don’t wait for things to happen, they make them happen. While some men consider it a turn off for a woman to pursue them, other men probably don’t mind being chased, and they find it attractive, because they believe that it shows that a woman is bold and confident. So, ladies, if you like a man, it doesn’t hurt to drop subtle hints; if he bites the bait, then you are in. If not, hardy mabebeza, better luck next time – there are many fish in the sea. Ba thuleng hela bo mma. Khi!