The influence of esteem in our daily interactions

The power of esteem building in the context of Covid 19 is critical given the mental health issues are often coming as a reflection of how one’s esteem has been strengthened.

This reflects our relational connections and how we negotiate and align our relational purpose in the context of self and other. Notwithstanding, what is self-esteem and why is it important? Self-esteem is the prize tag in value formed and built in our mindset about ourselves and often this constructed view comes in a subjective manner. It originates from various sources including the appraisals and or evaluations that people make about what is their worth as given by self or others directly or indirectly. Sometimes this self-worth could be constructed from a worldly or spiritual perspective and it is important to have clarity on what informs the construction of that reality.

Self-esteem can be tagged on the belief system and therefore our thoughts and opinions which may be distorted or rational as well as the emotional states we are in have the power to colour the constructions of this view. Self- esteem can therefore be constructed positively or negatively and can be a cumulative input of various inputs as collected through our lenses and those of others and as stated this may be objective or subjective views as seen through varied worldviews. A person who is in an emotional state that is shrouded with pain and lack of being appreciated may form a distorted view of self-depending on the repeated messages they have been getting such as congratulations, fear, disregard, shame etc and will tend to build corresponding sense of personal well-being.

So, in basic terms, the concept and view that people have of who they are as people are critical in influencing the reality of what they consider their worth and that speaks to the life experiences. In addition to life experiences, we align our purpose, goals, standards and patterns of our successes and failures to the constructed meaning of who we are. Remember that this is not a passive process where one sits back and disengages because then we end up with releasing our power to influence this process to external factors, which is disempowering. A positive self-view is therefore a highly engaging process that demands all of us to come on board to ensure this reality is formed to bring out the absolute best within ourselves. Many people are often not well-queued internally to have a foundational base that allows a strong sense of self to be established and would depend on the external stimulus to instigate this and if it does not happen, they get bruised. This demand being sensitive in knowing the power we have in building this positive esteem image and of course it does not mean we shower people with rewards that are underserved because that could equally be demeaning if one is rewarded inappropriately. If a person needs a corrective feedback to promote coming out of a negative situation or pattern of behaviour, they have to receive that feedback in a caring and constructive manner to bring balance in self-development with accountability. The current space does not allow for discussing godly and worldly self-esteem and how it manifests in our lives and therefore effort will go next into godly esteem as it is often misunderstood. Worldly esteem is often grounded on ourselves and what we have and can do for ourselves and this is equally good and works for our development, however the patterns that emerge sometimes grounded people on established achievements that are external such as material possessions, educational standards, businesses and financial accomplishments to mention just a few. This is good building a sense of esteem on externalized success may fail in building rootedness if those externals are not there anymore. A superficial anchor of our self-esteem may not always suffice as we come to appreciate that human dynamics are just so complex to not always give us a black and white reflection of our inner being. This is a broad subject and we just cut one slice of looking at its influence in our daily interactions, and so come along in the next column as we deepen ourselves into esteem building in the contemporary world.