The challenges of courtship

Courtship is a very exciting phase in a young person’s life.

The adventure of going out with a person of the opposite sex is filled with exuberance, audacity, a sense of belonging, breaking new ground in relationships, and facing the challenges that come with all these aspects of life. Pretense versus genuineness is an issue that many young people have to contend with. The things we do for love can be very daunting. The first time a guy looks into your eyes and tells you he loves you can be very exciting, especially if you have been waiting for him to do so. When a young girl looks sheepishly into your eyes and tells you how cute you are and how much she admires you, the experience can boost your male ego until it pops like a balloon. The pretense factor in relationships runs very high among young people. This is the stage where the young guys play macho with their shirt collars starched and the matching haircut and all the pomp that goes with it. How well do you know each other beyond the realm of flirting and mind games? When the relationship gets serious and needs to go to the next level of maturity, certain things have to come to an end. You now need to get to know the real person you are courting. Who is he? Who is she? Where did they grow up and how were they brought up? What are their real manners, customs and cultural heritage? Getting to know the real person has its challenges, one of which is the culture clash. When you get to know the person’s cultural background you then have to decide whether or not this is the person you want to settle with for a long relationship that will eventuate in marriage. You don’t want to rush into this major decision without considering the most important factors that will result in an informed decision without regrets. Then there is the challenge of character issues. Does the person have the character you can be proud of in the long run? Remember that pretense levels run high, especially in boys, because he wants to win the girl’s heart. He wants to make sure he scores high in her mind. He will flash the smile, the wallet, the phone, the fashion and of course, the speech. He wants to impress. The machismo begins to shine and dazzles the girl out of her wits. She is not thinking straight anymore. She is hooked by his dazzling array of various glamorous external appearances. Don’t be fooled. That is not the real him; it is his fake persona. Remove the mask and see him for what he is. Family issues play a huge role. What kind of family does he/she come from? Find out as much as possible about his/her family. That will tell you volumes about his/ her character and worldview. You are a product of your upbringing. Don’t pretend to be what you are not.