FORGIVENESS IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH
Just prior to Good Friday, the Sowetan Live shared information to the effect that Thando Mahlangu has forgiven a manager who had humiliated him in a video that went viral on social media. Mahlangu, a Ndebele traditionalist-cum activist; had reportedly gone to Boulders Shopping Centre wherein he was humiliated by the mall manager over his traditional attire. A day later in a separate incident, Norma Mngoma; wife of former South African Finance minister Malusi Gigaba indicated that she has forgiven Gigaba. She was charged with crimen injuria as well as malicious damage to property with her arrest making shockwaves. These two acts of forgiveness bring us to the question to ponder on; what are the mental health benefits of forgiving others?
Forgiveness as defined by most positive psychologists is “the offering of something positive like empathy, compassion and understanding towards a person who hurt you.” A renown positive psychologist Bob Enright highlights that it isn’t just letting go or moving on as we have been accustomed to. Lack of forgiveness is a symptom in many mental health problems.
Forgiveness is hugely beneficial as it can result in positive mental health outcomes like reduced anxiety and depression. In one of her recent interviews, Norma asserts that forgiveness is part of the healing process, a substantial amount of evidence affirms that. A 2016 study by Toussaint found out that when forgiveness rose in the research participants, their levels of stress reduced, further affirming that forgiveness is indeed significant and nurtures the pathways to mental health stability.
If we are not forgiving, there is high likelihood of other physical consequences. It is worth noting that the angry feelings and resentment from not forgiving may go on to affect other relationships. It thereby calls us to forgive and how can that be achieved?
We need to acknowledge what has hurt us and then reflect on the feelings towards the experience. We learn from our worst experiences hence we may look at lessons learnt which may lead us to reflect on the situation from the perspective of those that hurt us. We may as well think of moments that we hurt others which will help justify whether our antics are justifiable or not. Activities like journaling, exercise, prayer can help but if that persist, therapy can then be undertaken.