My father’s secret was to rape me
It all began with her father telling her that he wanted to have a secret with her. The naïve little girl had no idea that her own biological father meant to destroy her life.
She later on learnt that her father’s secret was to rape her after it had already happened and this left a void in her heart, until she managed to speak out.
Director of Women Against Rape (WAR), Peggy Ramaphane said this real life story depicts the state of Gender Based Violence (GBV) in Botswana.
She said this at a national consultation forum co-hosted by the International Network to End Violence Against Women and Girls (INEVAWG) and BOCONGO Gender and Human Rights.
Most of the time, the perpetrators of violence are not anywhere far but just within the family. This young girl, Dikeledi Lentswe* trusted her father with her life but he meant no good to his own daughter except planning to violate her sexually. “One night my father called me to his room in a towel, and asked me if I remember the issue of having a secret with him” the innocent girl shared.
She added that her father threw her on the bed and put a pillow on her face and forced himself into her, defeating her as she tried to cry out for help. This is when she realised that her father’s secret was to rape her.
However, she gathered strength to tell her mother, uncle and grandfather, but the grandfather didn’t want the matter to be reported to the police.
Filled with pain, all she wanted to do was to report, and she managed through the help of her mother who accompanied her to the police, where she finally found assistance and also received counselling through a social worker.
Ramaphane said that GBV is prevalent in Botswana but most of the time, people hide it. Today the girl child is at risk of being violated and such experiences end up causing them to grow up as angry and bitter women.
Through the use of digital stories, they want to challenge and shift norms on GBV in Botswana. She explained that healing is the most important factor for a victim of abuse, because when stories are screened and discussed at support groups women survivors of domestic or sexual violence, are able to see light at the end of the tunnel and start their lives over again.
She said that enhanced knowledge and understanding of these issues is critical. Through community mobilisation, when people listen to radio programs designed to sensitise listeners, it helps them to get involved and take action on GBV.
Through ‘Dipolelo’, a series of real life stories shared on YouTube, they want to break the pandemic of GBV and show people what is happening behind closed doors.
Most of these stories are recorded while the victims reside at the shelters, as a way of helping them to let go of what happened to them and start a new chapter of their lives.