BAD HABIT: Stop visiting during meal times

There are many awful habits we have that spoil our relationships with other people. We don’t realise this because many will not tell us even when we annoy them. Out of frustration they tell someone else while we ignorantly continue with our ugly habits. One of these disturbing habits is visiting other people during meal times.

This not being selfish, stingy and unloving. It is recommended that we should always be willing and ready to share our meals with others. We don’t exist in isolation. We co-exist with other people who deserve our assistance during times of need. We should practise true or unconditional love by meeting their needs using what we have been blessed with. As a matter of fact, this is the African way. We got derailed from it through wrong socialisation perpetrated by the westerners who despise our communalistic orientation.

Yes, we should not resist helping evil beggars. Even if we feel inconvenienced we should do good. When it comes to food, we should not let a hungry person leave our homes on an empty stomach. Even if we have a skimpy meal, we should always remember our Setswana adage: “bana ba motho ba kgaogana tlhogo ya ntsi” (in a family, children should share even a very small piece of food).

No problem with all that, but understand that much as it is good to share meals with others, it is bad for us to encourage terrible habits like visiting others just so that you can eat a meal with them. Significantly, it is bad to visit while you are empty handed. Once in a while bring something to share with your hosts. In particular, bring something for their children.

Children today are very observant. They resent visitors who frequent their homes for meals. They also dislike the fact that when such visitors come, they may be forced to cook again for them. Or they may be asked to stop whatever they are doing to go to the stores to get something for these visitors.

If you keep visiting during meal times, people may think you are an irresponsible miser. You never invite them for meals at your place. A good turn deserves another! When you have exhausted your money for meals, you make them foot the bill for you.

Something else bothers the people you visit for meals. You wipe out the whole meal and shamelessly ask for some more. You voraciously consume everything like a glutton.