On the politics of forgiveness
I recall our dean at church once delivered a moving sermon on forgiveness, and he made an example, pointing out that some people, fa o ka mo dira sengwe ka 2011, ka 2021 o tla bo a ntse a chestile kgang ya teng. Ha!
Forgiveness is a sensitive subject because memories remain etched in our hearts and minds. You would have to get amnesia to forget certain things that people do and say...
But regardless of how painful the slight or atrocity, you have to forgive, at least for your joy and peace of mind. It’s OK to express anger, disappointment, hurt or sadness. Animosity and conflict are also normal; human beings have misunderstandings all the time, but it doesn’t mean they hate each other, or hold grudges. They probably won’t hold hands and sing Kumbaya, but it becomes water under the bridge. Unforgiveness hurts the person who doesn’t forgive more. That is why it’s said that: ‘bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.’ The people you hurt or resent don’t always “suffer.” They happily move on with their lives. People are busy with important things such as when to get laid and how to make money! Human beings are creatures of fallacy. Some people wrong you by mistake. Some spurred by “natural hate” while others are used by the devil.
That is why some people can do terrible things to you and next time motho wa teng a bo a tlhabiwa ke ditlhong, a tshaba le go go leba mo matlhong. Forgive them. Forgive even those who are busy plotting against you, and forgive those who will err against you. Take those experiences as lessons … that whole analogy of turning lemonade out of lemons. Kana batho ba bangwe ba kgona go ithaya ba re ba go sotla, kante ba go thusa. Reminds me of a line in ATI’s song Khiring Khorong where he goes: ‘Le fa o ka tla ka katakata, sebe sa phiri ke gore monna ga a hele!’
The importance of forgiveness is demonstrated in how when Jesus was killed by his detractors, he said: ‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing!’ Even the Lord’s prayer reminds us this, where it goes: “…forgive us for our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting what they did, but rather, accepting what happened without malice. You can forgive someone but still not talk to them or cut ties with them, particularly if they are toxic, or when respect is eroded and trust is broken. But forgiven them nevertheless. And no matter how tempting, never retaliate the wrongs done to you. No revenge is also a form of revenge… Sometimes you have to show people that you are not like them. This came to mind recently while I was catching up with the news, and observed that the tired narrative of the soured bromance between bundle of joy and mosau is still at play. Sadly, it’s deflecting attention from important bread-and-butter issues. They have allowed their ego-driven loathing to consume them so much that it has turned into psychotic obsession. But in politics such as in life, there are no permanent friends. It is what it is. And when you lose out, just let go. You can’t beat a dead donkey. Holding onto past grudges is like when a man loses his romantic interest to a rival and is consumed by resentment so much that even after many years, they bitterly exclaim: “Nx, kana semang-mang o kile a ntseela fro!” Ao, Chineke!