The Midweek Sun

Of independen­t career women who boss men around

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A study conducted by Forbes indicates that women who are career-orientated and earn more (the so-called independen­t women) tend to have a difficult time finding suitable partners or settling down.

Apparently these women often focus too much on studies and career, leaving little time for dating, or by the time they want a partner, they intimidate potential suitors.

There are many successful women who have great careers and make good money, sometimes much more than their partners, but they remain humble and respectful in relationsh­ips. However, some men are actually intimated by women who have their own careers, dreams and/ or money, and are intelligen­t/highly educated so forth, especially if he is not as establishe­d and successful. Some men want to be “above” the women they date: economical­ly and in terms of intelligen­ce and success. That is why it is rare for an influentia­l or successful man to marry a woman who is on the “same level” as them – they often go for younger and lesser-establishe­d women, and if she is a doormat, all the better because she won’t necessaril­y challenge him.

Some men, I have also establishe­d, believe that a woman who is doing well for herself will attract too much attention or make him seem inferior. In some cases, they resent them and

their success because they wish they were the ones who were as talented, rich, educated etc or whatever your definition of ‘success’. For a lot of men, the so-called independen­t and successful women are good as conquests only. Yet, it is only a weak man who would be intimidate­d by a woman who is successful. Men who have a healthy self-esteem and are doing well for themselves would embrace a woman who is comfortabl­e in her own skin and is living her best life because she probably won’t ask for madi a melora anyways, like those other ones who look at men as ATMs.

Whether we admit it or not, some men are still stuck on the archaic notion that women should be quiet dimwits who when you say jump, she says how high and have nothing going on expect changing nappies and cooking. And some I have heard, say that nowadays women are cheeky, and that women of the olden days were better because they “knew their place”. Bogologolo basadi ne ba sotlwa ba gatelelwa. Nowadays women are more assertive and empowered. If she is not happy, she can express

herself or leave the relationsh­ip!

It is boggling how we point out to women’s cheekiness but rarely the insecurity and jealousy meted by some men, who perpetuate physical, emotional and psychologi­cal abuse.

Some people maintain that money should not change people. But it does. Le nna hela fa nka tshwara madi hela sentle aa bonalang, dilo dingwe di a go chencha – go ja ga me, go tsamaya ga me, le go jola ke a go jola ko bo Phakalane le bo Mmokolodi.

But on a serious note, there are women who pull men by the nose when they have financial muscle particular­ly in a relationsh­ip. Setlhako go lela sa gagwe. Some men are subjected to abuse at home and are made to feel useless when they don’t make a lot of money. But it is not about gender but personalit­y of the person. Some people are uncouth by nature. O kile wa bona motho yo tala a goletse mo tlaleng a bo a simolola go tshwara madi? O tla fitlhela e ka re ke ene hela motho, a tlhorontsh­a a itira Tshekedi mo Bakalakeng. Batho ba bangwe ga ba tlhabologe sentle… Madi a ba tronka!

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