What your wife really needs – not just sex!
Husbands, did you know that one of the things that add up to great sex for your wife is actually not sexual at all? You may be surprised,
but keep reading.
It is really something that all women need and desire. They need that physical touch that doesn’t lead to sex.
They need to feel a sense of security, knowing that they are loved and appreciated. A woman wants to know that every physical expression from her husband does not come with the expectation of moving toward sexual intercourse. Women rank nonsexual touch as a top sex need!
The men reading this might be thinking “Is there such a thing as nonsexual touch? Isn’t most touch between a husband and wife supposed to lead to sex?” The answers are yes and no. Simply put, nonsexual touch, or affection, is intimacy in and of itself. It is not the means to an end. In many cases it is the end. Does your wife sometimes not want to be touched? One minute she wants to be touched; the next minute she does not?
This can make men confused!
But men need to understand what kind of touch works best for a woman.
More than 80 percent of a woman’s need for meaningful touch is nonsexual. The majority of women appreciate a hug, a touch, a kiss, holding hands – any physical sign that tells them that they are special. Let us differentiate between nonsexual touch and foreplay touch. Nonsexual touch is loving affection. It may have the tone of sexual arousal “around” it, but the goal of nonsexual touch is not intercourse. Foreplay touch, on the other hand, leads to sexual intimacy for a couple.
The problem with men is that once they touch their wives, their minds are geared towards sexual intimacy. For many men, touch is touch and it all feels the same. But that is not the same for women.
Women are wired differently. The challenge is for men to understand this aspect of feminine uniqueness. It may be difficult for
men to understand how intimate touch can stay platonic. You start rubbing her shoulders, and you become aroused and think you have entered the sexual intimacy zone. She thinks she is just getting an affectionate shoulder rub. And when you start to make your move, she resists and pulls back and you get frustrated because what you had in mind is not what she had in mind. What happened? Many men have felt pushed out into the cold relationally, when they long to be sexually intimate with their wives. When men go from nonsexual touch to trying to score – they are destined to fail because they are on a different wavelength! He is on FM and she is on SW. It is that simple. Some men keep trying this pursuit, keep failing, and keep getting angry and they don’t understand why she cannot catch on to his vibes. The reality is that when you meet your wife’s needs for affection, you refresh her weary spirit and help her relax.