YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ABOUT THAT TAXI RANK

The trending story about that Motswana dame who was left economically dry by the smooth criminals of Johannesburg should have taken heed of the equally trending social media posts about the MTN Taxi Rank in that city of gold. The poor lady who had reportedly gone shopping for some stuff to come and resell in Botswana is said to have fallen into the very trick patrons of the taxi rank have for ages been warned against. Gatwe while foraging for some cheaper stuff at some less expensive outlets in the city, she found herself at the MTN Taxi Rank, whereupon she asked for directions to some store at Bree. Big mistake! Instead of sharing the details of her ordeal that ultimately left her broke and empty-handed with her bank account emptied considerably, let us take you through just three of the Ten Commandments for Survival at that taxi rank, as found in some social media pages and groups of South Africa. Actually they call it The Most Dangerous Place In Johannesburg. Number 1 says: No earphones while walking around the rank. Number 2: Never ask for directions at the rank as at the minimum it will cost you R100 or all your life at the maximum. Number 3:Never let anyone carry your bags no matter how heavy. The rules go on and on until Number 10, which reads: Never be too comfortable and think you know this place better. It is clear our lady from Thamaga had not seen these posts about the MTN Rank, otherwise she would not have even stepped there. Sorry sistas, at least you came back home safe!

One famous local politician once likened the opposition parties in the country to hunters whose bickering and fierce fight for the delicious cuts and parts of a kudu – or any other wild animal hunted for meat - begins even before they kill it. ‘I told you the thigh is mine; no, you can only make away with the head and hooves; what about the offals, I want them for my dogs; no one is touching the organ meats, have the muscle meats I don’t care; over my dead body…” As the hunters’ fierce fight rages on, they begin to physically and emotionally hurt each other while the wild animal they are looking to kill walks away wondering what the noise of these men is about. These past few days, we have witnessed just this behavior among our opposition leaders and their attack dwaggs. Now the young turks have joined the fight on behalf of their principals, with the juvenile chaps at the BCP calling the UDC President a ‘wannabe dictator’ and the infantiles of the BNF coming to their man’s defence by also calling their fellow opposition opponents delay masters of regime change. Elsewhere it is the BPF telling the UDC that the issue of incumbency cannot be accepted in the central district, while a breakway party has reportedly been formed from the BNF. Mosuke! Even the elderly followers of these opposition party leaders are at each others’ throats, reminding one another of the past deeds of what they each term their ‘evil’ leaders. All the ruling party gents and dames can do is to watch, smile and prepare for another victory. Tota Opposition e loilwe ke mang

THE FIGHT FOR A CARCASS BEFORE THE KILL