Raising Thriving Boys

• Summit addresses boys’ parents

One of the strongest messages emerging from last weekend summit, ‘Raising Thriving Boys,’ is that parents are too busy making money to provide for their children and do not pay attention to the same children.

The summit was organised by The Conscious Parent, an organisation that offers one-on-one and group coaching, family coaching, corporate customised packages, workshops, summits and speaking engagements.

It is the brainchild of Tumelo Leene. Several experts and speakers, among them, David Moepeng, Mwamba Nsebula, Mmoloki Mogokgwane, Lorato Moalosi and Calvin Phokontsi addressed topics including, Raising a boy in the digital world, Mental and physical health, Forging the Spirit of Boys, Causes of Gender Based Violence, Alcohol and

Substance abuse, Enhancing financial literacy in sons. “A lot of children experience a lot of absenteeism by parents, even when they live under the same roof. Children are raised by social media and gadgets, and this creates a serious gap and room for defiance and frustrations and fights,” Leene told The Midweek Sun.

Leene reiterated that parents need to come close to their boys and offer guidance through teen stage when they observe or suspect that their children could be engaging in alcohol and substance abuse, and even sex. Another lesson from the summit is that the behaviours that parents portray in homes have an impact on children.

“We teach them to be angry, bitter, violent by what we do and say to them or to others within the family,” she said, adding that an environment in which parents fight and argue in front of children is never good, or where children are insulted and body shamed.

“Boys growing up in such environments turn out to be introverted, abusive, or even victims of abuse. This is why we see a lot of cases of gender-based violence. Some children run to their peers for refuge, who may in turn introduce them to alcohol and substance abuse.”

The summit also heard that to help boys thrive, parents need to understand their sons and help them through their challenges, meet their needs, spend time with them, instil values in the home, set boundaries and consequences for violating them, and help them find mentors.

She added that there must be open lines of communication between the parents and the boys.

“They must be encouraged to express themselves without fear of judgment,” she said, adding that parents also need to teach their sons financial management while they are still young.