It just had to be Ian! Bathong tlheng Ian o lesukuru.

I see now that we just have to live with this reality that where your name is mentioned, Ian, there certainly won’t be any peace; people continue to live in fear and wonder what next they would be hearing about your vile and violent crusade.

It is now common knowledge that wherever you have passed, Ian, you have left a trail of destruction and a country in almost a state of disrepair. You are mean. You are imposing. Dangerous, fearsome and downright deadly! No amount of counter action taken against you has helped those who tried to cow you down.

You just do not seem ready to relent in your destructive campaign against a country that has given you a life. Even

with people’s lives being affected by your unforgiving demeanour, you have cared less. You are just plain Ruthless – no pun intended; and it does seem true that you are not one to easily back down from a confrontation without leaving significant bruises and casualties.

Many have already died because of you and it is clear many are set to continue suffering even after your markedly cruel reign. Yes, yours has been a reign of terror with many left to lick their wounds, both literally and metaphorically. But why Ian, why?

We have had enough of you already muna, and we certainly pray for your demise soon. We plead that you just disappear from whence you appeared with your bloody traits. You seem set to emulate your sister Colin about whom little was known, yet as insidiously destructive, before her demise this year.

But I am here to tell you Ian, nothing lasts forever. Very soon you will die like all those related to you and we will smile again – the likes of Colin, Fiona, Alex and Danielle. They came and went – and so what gives you this false sense of invincibility you carry as you continue to ravage our land and destroy our people’s lives?

O tsaa gore o mang kante setsuatsue ke wena? You will die like all the egocentrics of your ilk, and we shall jabula again. Soon you will have no power over anyone, so you could at least tone down so that we remain with better memories of you - that you did not actually destroy as many people’s lives as those who came before you.

In fact, I am here wondering why they named you Ian – a name that here in our part of the world is associated with men of valour, relentlessness and impulsive temperament. See how you have been persistent in your ruinous pursuit – mo gotweng ina-lebe seromo! Kana Ian Smith of Zimbabwe - then Rhodesia - was just as ruthless a fearless army general, who even terrorized the people of my country, Botswana. Just like you, Ian, he left a trail of sorrow – we have the Lesoma monument to remind us of his heartlessness. May I add too, that Ian Smith was a skilled fighter-jet pilot. While he made planes fly, you are instead making houses and trees fly, leaving many homeless. Such cruelty!

And then there is our very own Ian Khama – another former army man whose ruthless and cunning combat antics remain legendary. Gatwe in fighting back against the Rhodesian army of Ian Smith, he could turn himself into a housefly, fly to Zim, enter their barracks and while they were asleep, would turn himself back into Ian and pepper them with deadly bullets. As kids, we revelled in such tales, profusely proud to have such a smart soldier as our defence force general. Like Smith, our Ian also flew army aircrafts.

Even as they tease him today as a pale and spent force who ran away to seek refuge in another country fearing a mere teacher with no combat experience, he still remains our hero as a man who employed crafty techniques to destroy his enemies.

Such are the men after whom you have been named, Ian – just as all the other many devastating hurricanes and cyclones have been assigned some human names.

As I said earlier, the people of Central America and Florida had to contend with a Cape Verde hurricane that formed in August and died down on September 15. It was named Hurricane Colin. This Colin was as deadly despite very little being said about her. We have also had to bear the brunt of Hurricane Fiona some few weeks ago. Closer home, we remember the days of Cyclone

Dineo and Hurricane Katrina.

Now we have you, Hurricane Ian – currently up in arms, killing people like flies in America, and caring little about the aftermath that includes orphaned children among others of the consequences of your pitilessness. Whoever chose you the name Ian must be investigated, nxu’stru! We have had enough trauma with that name and we continue to plead for your mercy. Spare the lives of the people of America.

And most importantly, we pray for your quick demise – although, sadly, we hear that Lisa, Karl, Julia, Martin and Nicole are hovering ready to come add to our miseries in the same manner you are currently doing.

Kana in the past we knew you hurricanes to be named after women. Whatever has happened to that tradition? Even in the list of the tropical storms yet to come soon, I see there is Martin and Karl. The World Meteorological Association which chooses these names must have been scolded by women rights activists for being gender-biased. I know for sure that when this naming convention started in 1953, only women names were used - and there is no prize for guessing why. I am actually intrigued that women who are always fighting for equality have in truth demonstrated that they mean what they say when they fought for men to be honoured by naming hurricanes after them as well.

As we get ready for Hurricane Lisa and others, I can’t help but go jealousnyana. Looking at all the names of these future storms, I see none of mine. Le nna ke batla go buiwa ka nna like Ian – imagine a tropical storm named Cyclone Joe-Brown! Or even better, Hurricane Tlhaselo. Mme nna I will surely come in peace – I hate violence. I hate unnecessary confrontations. And so, down with Ian down!

To the people facing the wrath of Ian, I say take solace in the words of British singer Mark Knopfler when in ‘Why Worry,’ a song of his rock band Dire Straits, he said: There should be laughter after pain; there should be sunshine after rain; these things have always been the same - so why worry now? The storm should be over soon. May the souls of those killed by Hurricane Ian rest in eternal peace.