The Midweek Sun

What to avoid while waiting for marriage (part 2)


Waiting for marriage often brings a multitude of vicious temptation­s that can be very destructiv­e to a person. Avoid appearing desperate and lonely. Parents should teach their children that how they carry themselves matters. People will respond to you and respect you based on what is on the outside, first and what is on the inside, second. That is why appearing desperate and lonely is not a good look for someone desiring a healthy, happy marriage. Grown, single women can appear desperate if they are always dressed provocativ­ely or if they are constantly seeking attention from a man! A man might want you for a night if you appear easy, but I doubt if he will want you for a lifetime partner. Grown, single men can appear desperate too. Every time you see them they might be trying to pick up a different woman.

Men may use all kinds of tactics to entice women. They may even use cheesy pickup lines, and wear too much cologne. Beware of smooth talkers. They can even talk the milk out of your tea. They are just desperate and maybe even a little creepy. To attract a woman who will respect you as a man you need to dress like a man and not like a teenage boy. You also cannot appear to be on the prowl. Appearance­s matter for both men and women. Avoid speaking negatively about the opposite sex and about relationsh­ips. What comes out of your mouth matters! Not all men are dogs, and not all women are gold diggers. Not all men will cheat, and not all women are trying to trap you in a relationsh­ip by getting pregnant. If you speak negatively about the opposite sex, then you meet and date negative people. You also have to stop speaking negatively about love and relationsh­ips. The fact that you have been betrayed in the past does not mean you will be betrayed in the future. Statements like “I don’t trust anybody,” and “I am not giving my heart away again” set you up for failure. You will never experience the blessing of marriage if you don’t trust or open your heart. Your tongue can block you from your blessing. Avoid attaching your happiness and identity to another person. If you don’t know who you are right now and if you are not happy in your single status now, things will not change once you get married. Another person cannot make you happy, even if he/ she is your spouse. It is sad to see one person in the marriage totally consumed by the other to the point that he/she does not know who they are. Just because you come together as one in marriage does not mean you don’t have individual personalit­ies or interests in life. The oneness of marriage helps both spouses grow into who they are individual­ly while at the same time grow together as a couple. So, regardless of your marital status, be happy now, love who you are now, and walk in your purpose now.

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