TIME TO BE JOLLY
Just before Christmas, Santa Claus, an honest politician and a compassionate lawyer were in the same Gaborone café having coffee when all three noticed a P50 note on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa, of course. The other two don’t exist.
This is the last issue of 2021 and I’d like to end the year on a cheery note.
So, instead of whining about the longterm dangers of credit cards or focusing on how Christmas has become a commercial opportunity, I’m going to try to liven up your office parties and family gatherings by providing some timely jokes to share.
What I really wanted to find were humorous little tales that emphasised the best of the Christmas spirit. You know, thinking of others, staying in touch with friends, spending time with family and focusing on fundamental Christian values. Things like, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and other compassionate ideals that line-up with the teachings of other major religions.
The thing is, the commercial opportunity jokes were a lot easier to find… and some of them actually made me laugh.
A few days before Christmas, two scruffy looking men sat down on a bench in Dublin, Ireland.
One was holding a Christian crucifix and the other a Jewish Star of David and both placed their hats on the ground in front of them to accept money from passers-by.
A local priest watched as shoppers totally ignored the man with the Star of David and gave generously to the man with the cross, and before long, the one was overflowing with coins while the other remained empty.
Eventually, the Father went over to the men and said to the one with the Star of David, “Don’t you realise this is a Christian country? You will never get any money doing that.”
At which point, the man holding the star turned to the one with the cross and said, “Hymie, can you believe it? This guy is telling us how to run our business.”
But not all the jokes I found were about making money. Some were about trying to save.
It was just before Christmas so the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner what he had been accused of doing.
“Starting my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“But that’s not an offense,” said the judge. “How early did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
And some were about missing the Christmas spirit altogether.
When his grandmother arrived for Christmas, the little boy greeted her with a big hug. “I’m so glad you have come, Grandma. Now Daddy can do his trick.” “What trick is that?” she asked. “He told mummy the other day that if you came over for Christmas again this year, he would climb the walls.”
Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year.
And whatever else you do during the holidays, please don’t forget to laugh.