THE CONSCIO OUS PARENT
Queen Leene trains parents
FREDERICK Douglass, a 19th century American social reformer, abolitionist, orator, writer, and statesman is remembered for the famous words: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Back here at home, and in our generation, John Maxwell Certified Parenting and Family Coach as well as Founder of The Conscious Parent, Tumelo Queen Leene, believes it is our duty, as parents, to develop authentic and thriving relationships with our children.
Voice Woman chats to the affectionate mother-of-4 boys, who holds an Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA) qualification and a Master’s in Financial Management and Control.
Having worked in various corporates as a chartered accountant and internal auditor, as well as a lecturer at Boitekanelo College, the Ramotswa-born coach left financial records for family matters and founded The Conscious Parent. Through her organisation, the saintly woman hosts interactive and life transforming workshops on successful, effective and godly parenting.
Tell us about your organisation, The Conscious Parent.
We help parents raise empowered and confident children who thrive in their authenticity, without conflict and power struggles. We do coaching and speaking, as well as conduct workshops and summits in various forums for both parents and youth.
What inspired you to go into this field?
I have always loved kids and believe in the wholeness that a wellknit family brings.
In October 2018, we had a housebreak-in where two young men entered our house through the kitchen window. Brandishing knives, they charged into our bedroom as my husband and I were sleeping, and ordered us not move or say anything, then asked me to go get the children; and of course they followed me to the kid’s bedrooms. I wondered, “Where and how did these youngsters learn to break into houses?” Surely they came into this world as innocent souls. I was awakened to the fact that how we raise our children has an impact on how they turn out. Whether we know it or not, whether we are deliberate or not, we are shaping their mindset one way or another. I looked at my boys, who were helpless, and thought about how I was raising them; that I must raise them consciously and help other parents do the same. So, we raise children who thrive in their authenticity as God, their maker, intended.
I decided to learn from experts in the field of parenting, enrolling in the John Maxwell Parenting and Family certification programme so I could be better equipped to help other parents as well. My main teachers, however, are my children.
What do you value most about your work?
The fact that when parents embrace consciousness, awareness and intentionality in the way that they raise their children, to become that which they have been created to be, then we will have hope for a better, healthier and more peaceful world.
Two of your boys are teenagers. What are some of the challenges of raising adolescents?
Seeing them want to take charge of their own lives while I struggle with relinquishing control over them, which leads to rebelliousness or defiance; slamming of doors, lack of desire for good academic performance, laziness to do house chores and many more.
This generation faces a myriad of challenges, how can parents ensure children steer clear of drugs, cyber bullying and other social ills?
By deeply connecting with their children, being there for them, spending time, learning who they are, and allowing and supporting them to be that. Reducing the tension and the fight by letting go of the control that they have on their children.
It is said positive parenting promotes confidence in children, but, generally speaking, our social problems indicate such parenting is lacking; your views?
Yes, I do agree. Whatever we see happening in our communities, society and even the world at large, emanates from the home. Like they say, ‘Charity begins at home’. What sort of homes are we raising our children in? What do we feed our children? How are our words and actions?
You have the ongoing virtual workshop – Raising Authentic and Thriving Teens. What are some of its key objectives?
To bring awareness to parents and help them avoid fighting with their teenage children; helping them understand why they fight and what they can do to support them and help them thrive without frustrations and power struggles.
And what do you have planned for next month?
I have a summit themed ‘Raising Thriving Boys’ scheduled for the 24th September, 2022. We see that when we talk about the not-so-good things in the world today; robbery, child molestation, suicide, drugs and substance abuse, the man-child takes the lead. So, we are going to look into the reasons and further share ways we can help raise the younger ones to become impactful leaders of tomorrow, in their families and in the community. We will be having various speakers who are experts in the areas that concern men and boys. Tickets for the event can be found at any of the Spars across the country and Webtickets, or at 71333219.
You’re a Christian, which passages of scripture do you draw inspiration from?
There are so many, but as it relates to parenting; Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” as determined by God not us, which I believe is in line with the purpose for which they were created.
Young people are addicted to gadgets. What advice do you have for parents?
Gadgets, and social media, although a necessity in this era, rob us of the quality time we are supposed to be spending with our children. Children copy what they see, therefore as long as parents lack the discipline themselves, they cannot set clear boundaries for children. Let’s be fully present, and monitor the use of gadgets, and enforce consequences whenever rules are flouted. Encourage physically activity, too. Parenting is not an easy responsibility, but a very sensitive and critical one as it concerns the upbringing of a human being who should be a person of influence in the community or environment they live in. We should therefore not leave it to chance but be intentional about committing to doing it the best way. Let us be open-minded about learning how to do it; seek help if need be.