The art of being a smaller mole

U.S. President Donald Trump is busy. Very busy. He’s up to his neck in trade wars with China, promising billions of dollars of tariffs against that country’s products.

He’s coming up with his own world view on how many people died after hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, claiming his administration did a great job there. (Despite the fact the accepted number of deaths in Puerto Rico from the storm is almost as many as died in 9/11.)

He’s fighting with Canada over the North American Free Trade Agreement, tossing down offhanded, end-of-days threats about the automobile industry or the dairy industry almost every single day.

Sometimes, it’s like he’s got a hammer in both hands, and he’s just looking for his latest target.

But when you’re one of the moles in the great Trump whack-a-mole game, maybe the point should be to be the smallest mole, or at least to be sure, somewhere on the table, that there’s a bigger one.

It’s well known that President Trump is a living, breathing example of “you are what you eat.” His Twitter pronouncements can often be directly tied to what he watches on television, and often, because of his viewing choices, what he watches on Fox News. Issues that Fox raises become issues that Trump raises.

So, maybe we should be making ourselves the smallest target possible – staying under his radar completely. Not a peep. Not a sound. Take shelter during the storm and wait for it to inevitably move on to things that make better theatre.

Or maybe, just maybe, we should be working hard to make a bigger mole.

You could just start a faux scandal to place the blame on someone else. Raise a stink about Moldova’s trade imbalance with the U.S., or the way the Maldives are out to get Donald Trump’s relatives and seize their business interests. But then again, it would hardly be fair to direct all that rage on another real and undeserving victim.

Maybe, we could just invent a whole new nation to be the target.

Maybe the European Union, China and Canada could jointly finance a blanket Fox News advertising campaign on the anti-american trade intentions of Oceanton, or else one that highlights Narcostan, that evil country of ridiculously violent drug gangs working to supplant MS 13 and take over the U.S. drug trade. (And don’t say that it couldn’t be believed; there’s a fair amount of recordings of Trump that suggest he believes the U.S. F-35 is an invisible fighter jet.)

Let’s make ourselves a smaller mole, or invent a bigger one.

Because there’s absolutely no chance that Donald Trump is going to stop whacking things.

The best plan is to have him find someone else worth whacking.

A sexual assault is a traumatic and devastating experience that can result in physical, mental and emotional injuries.

Sadly, sexual violence continues to occur every day in communities across Nova Scotia. It is important that anyone who has been sexually assaulted knows that there is a caring network of support and services available across the province, and that help is always available.

While there has been much discussion about the availability of specialized sexual assault nurse examiners (SANE) in communities, any person who has been sexually assaulted can and should receive care at any emergency department in the province. Care may be provided by a physician or sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) on site or through referral to another location where SANE is available. The fish chowder was simmering. The recipe was simplistic, and most ingredients were fresh, including cod we hauled from the Atlantic Ocean ourselves.

The broth turned out tasty, and the only thing left to add was the blend cream. Full fat blend cream! That could only make the chowder even more delish, right? (Please don’t tell my family doctor.)

But the required amount of blend cream only watered down the broth, and in my opinion, made it taste more like warm milk than seafood chowder.

Our guests each had two bowls, which is a good sign it wasn’t terrible, but I was still rotted with the outcome.

My wife, who said the chowder was fine, continuously tells me I put too much pressure on myself when I cook.

She might be right, but I’m really striving to be a better cook. I love it! In fact, if I wasn’t a journalist, I’d be a chef.

I’m also trying to live up to my nickname

A SANE is a registered nurse who has completed specialized education and clinical preparation to provide care, gather forensic evidence and provide expert testimony in court, and offer supportive follow up after a sexual assault occurs. Services are offered through contracted relationships with community-based organizations.

SANE programs are currently located in Halifax, Dartmouth, Lower Sackville, Antigonish, New Glasgow, Port Hawkesbury area and Yarmouth, with additional sites to be added in Cape Breton beginning in Sydney this month. Plans are also underway to expand SANE to the Annapolis Valley and South Shore, where it will replace a volunteer-based sexual assault response nursing service currently in place. Expansion of SANE has been supported by Nova Scotia’s Sexual Violence Strategy. We are now looking at how services could be expanded — Mr. Kitchen. That’s what some have called me for years, although I believe there’s some healthy sarcasm there.

Anyway, there are few things as rewarding as watching other people enjoy a dish you spent time creating from fresh ingredients and a good recipe, with a cooking technique or secret.

When people take one sip or mouthful and lick their lips, I consider that a job well done.

When their reaction is “mmmm…” I give myself high-fives.

And when they empty the pot and leave no leftovers, I sit back and bask in full-bellied satisfaction.

These are the kinds of reactions I crave.

Now, let’s be honest here. I’m no super chef, a Rachel Ray, Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsay – although I probably curse as much as he does when a dish goes south.

I have committed some culinary disasters, like leaving a bag of giblets in the carcass of an otherwise exceptional honey-peanut chicken dish or using whole wheat flour for dumplings and ending up with human-made rocks in the final soup, or having to order pizza for guests instead of serving them charcoal to other areas of the province, including Truro.

Access to SANE services can be coordinated through any emergency department in Nova Scotia, by calling the police or RCMP, or directly through a 24/7 response line. Please visit http://www.nshealth.ca/sane for more information.

There are also many communitybased supports and services available.

If you or a loved one experiences sexual violence, please do not hesitate to seek help. (meat under broil for too long).

And many of my kitchen creations – especially one stew where I forget salt – have tasted awful.

Still, I try.

Lately – after an amazing bowl of seafood chowder at a restaurant during my summer vacation – I’ve been focused on perfecting that dish.

The attempt noted earlier didn’t go as planned and the recipe was, as they say on “Coronation Street,” dead simple – onions, celery, potatoes, fish, chicken broth, milk and blend cream.

So, I’m looking for new chowder recipes. There’s no trouble to find one on the internet, but I’d rather they came from Atlantic Canada’s kitchens.

Which is where you come in, because I’m willing to bet some of you have a super chowder recipe or know of someone who does.

I’d love for you to email the concoction to me, so I can try it and share with readers.

My email is below.

Chow(der) for now.