‘We both lucked out’
Atlantic Canadians find second chance at love
Rhonda Myers knows the tragedy of love lost. And the Stratford, P.E.I., woman, unfortunately, experienced this loss early in life. “I fell in love for the first time at 22 years of age with Kyle MacKay. After five years, we were married in September of 2001 in a beautiful church wedding filled with family and friends,” Myers recalls.
“We were still in our honeymoon stage, having just bought our first home, when Kyle died suddenly while playing a rec hockey game."
The autopsy report stated MacKay's death was caused by an aortic aneurysm.
“We were married for five months and three days," she says. “Our wedding photos hadn't even come back yet."
At just 27 years old, Myers had become a widow.
PICKING UP THE PIECES
After losing MacKay, her life changed completely.
“There was no such thing as a grief support group for young widows. It was unheard of. There was no social media. Nothing. Just grief,” she says.
It left her struggling to figure out how to pick up the pieces of her life and move on.
“When it was time to learn to fly again, I didn't know how," Myers says, adding that her worst fear “was being alone for the rest of my life, so I clung on to anyone, and every relationship, whether casual or serious, that ended was completely devastating for me."
In early 2012, she ended a two-year unhealthy relationship.
“By then, I was discouraged, tired, and had given up hope. I was sad. Always sad,” said Myers.
Ironically, she met her happy ending, Randy Myers, through her ex. Their paths crossed a number of times, she says.
“I like to tease him that he had feelings for me first," she jokes.
"He was persistent but also patient. Having been hurt so many times in the past, I really was afraid to date again, let alone him. Instead, we developed a friendship. He was separated and had expressed many times he had no interest in getting remarried, ever."
Then it happened, she said. “One evening, we were talking about all the reasons why we should become a couple, but I was still very
hesitant until he said five words that I'll never forget,” she said.
"He said, 'I won't make you cry.'"
It's a promise he's kept, says Myers.
In 2017, they had a small, private wedding with only their immediate family and closest friends.
“It was perfect. He is perfect for me."
'NOT LOOKING FOR LOVE'
Marge DeBodt and Barry Costello of Nova Scotia's Annapolis Valley were both born and brought up in Prince Edward Island. Costello was widowed and
DeBodt was divorced for 25 years and had lived alone for 28 years when they met.
“I was not looking for love but I made a good choice," DeBodt says, looking back now.
When they met, she was “focused on my responsible job until retirement and my kids and grandchildren."
Thoughts of remarrying weren't on her radar.
“I became quite independent and my focus was on my job and my three daughters," she says.
But then, along came Costello.
“It all started with a coffee and a long conversation – much longer than normal because we were so interested in what each other had to say," said DeBodt.
“Among his many good qualities, Barry is a very interesting and knowledgeable man."
LEARNING TO TRUST
Building a new relationship after a failed one is a challenge, explains DeBodt, who says she “really had to learn to trust the person that I married."
She took her time to ensure marrying Costello was the right choice.
“It was two-and-a-half years before I agreed to marriage and we were over one year engaged,” she says.
“I did not jump into marriage. I made sure that my family would be OK with my decision.”
She had no reason to think that her family would be opposed to their union, she adds.
“They had a lot of confidence in me and only wanted the best for me. One of the first things that we noticed was our similarities. I have to say that Barry is a very kind, generous and knowledgeable man. We both lucked out."
FACING CHALLENGES TOGETHER
Jim Gregoire and Sue Williams-Brown live in a small community on the Avalon Peninsula of Newfoundland. When they met, neither were divorced yet and had not been separated from their former partners for long.
But Williams-Brown was looking for a companion and found it in Gregoire. Together, they have faced numerous challenges.
“We have been through our divorces, a lawsuit, deaths of loved ones – the first just two days after moving into our first home together, recent death of an adult daughter unexpectedly a month after she moved to Newfoundland to be near us, purchasing our first home, supporting our kids, grandkids, a special needs person, doing palliative care for my mom and so much more," she lists.
Added to that are the usual challenges that come with a new relationship.
"Blending an adult family is not an easy task, and we have had struggles and ups and downs, but we never let them get the better of us," she says.
And having the support of a partner is incredibly important, she adds.
“We often say that most people would not have made it this far together given our lot in life, but we love and support each other,” says Williams-Brown.