Book of­fers ad­vice for fe­male ‘later daters’

Calgary Herald - Calgary Herald New Condos - - Weekend Life - LAUREN LA ROSE

TORONTO — Dat­ing is daunt­ing at any age, but par­tic­u­larly so for in­di­vid­u­als ap­proach­ing their golden years who find them­selves sud­denly sin­gle fol­low­ing the end of their mar­riage or death of their spouse.

In her new e-book The Later Dater, re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Valerie Gib­son (va­lerieg­ib­ seeks to help women aged 50 and up ease back into the sin­gles scene. She de­scribed the book as a “nat­u­ral pro­gres­sion” from Cougar, her guide for older women seek­ing younger men.

“Women nowa­days of 50, 60 and 70 are not the yes­ter­year women of that age group. They’re not set­tling back and say­ing: ‘I’m too old for this,”’ Gib­son said in a re­cent in­ter­view. “A lot of the boomer women won’t ac­cept what they’ve been in­doc­tri­nated with over the years ... whether it’s about health is­sues or so­cial is­sues or sex­ual is­sues — and I think that is the good thing.

“Peo­ple are be­gin­ning to un­der­stand that th­ese vi­tal, ac­tive, good-look­ing, at­trac­tive, fit, healthy women should be meet­ing some­one if they so want to.”

Ma­ture women who are wad­ing into the mod­ern-day dat­ing pool af­ter a long ab­sence will find an en­vi­ron­ment that’s likely quite dif­fer­ent from when they last took the plunge, par­tic­u­larly with the emer­gence of online dat­ing.

Gib­son de­votes an en­tire chap­ter in the book to the sub­ject, and writes that while it can be “frus­trat­ing, ex­pen­sive and a mine­field of mis­rep­re­sen­ta­tion,” there isn’t another method that can con­nect later daters with other sin­gles in their pre­ferred age range as suc­cess­fully.

Gib­son said prospec­tive daters should also ap­proach the process as they would a job search in terms of how they pack­age or mar­ket them­selves as well as how they re­search po­ten­tial av­enues for dat­ing, like online sites.

She writes that an im­age up­date can be a con­fi­dence booster, whether it’s new clothes, a fresh hair­style or kick-start­ing a new diet and fit­ness reg­i­men. Those feel­ing shy or un­cer­tain about post­ing a photo online, for ex­am­ple, may want to seek out the ad­vice of an im­age con­sul­tant for sug­ges­tions, she noted.

Gib­son also writes that a good ini­tial tip is for women to ac­cept ev­ery in­vi­ta­tion they re­ceive to a so­cial event. She of­fers a break­down of gen­eral types of men that later daters may en­counter, cit­ing di­vorced and sep­a­rated men as the largest cat­e­gory of sin­gle men they’ll meet.

Gib­son also of­fers ad­vice on con­sid­er­a­tions to make when dat­ing a wid­ower.

Gib­son en­cour­ages women to “ex­plore the world of meet­ing men again,” and to do their part to en­sure they’re fun and in­ter­est­ing while shar­ing their com­pany.

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