For most of us, sim­ple flirt­ing is sim­ply fu­tile

Both women and men fail to get the mes­sage

Calgary Herald - Calgary Herald New Condos - - Weekend Life - HARRY DE QUETTEVILL­E

Read­ing sig­nals and ex­pres­sions from women has never been my strong suit. In fact, it’s a mir­a­cle that I man­aged to get mar­ried.

Of all the sig­nals from the op­po­site sex that I’m bad at in­ter­pret­ing, flirt­ing is No. 1. And it turns out I am not the only one. Ac­cord­ing to new re­search from the Univer­sity of Kansas, only a third of men are able to tell when they are be­ing flirted with.

Flirt­ing. Just the men­tion of the word sends shiv­ers down my spine — ter­ri­ble mem­o­ries flash up of par­ties and din­ners from my days as a sin­gle man.

There I would be, hap­pily milling about, glug­ging down the booze and chat­ting inanely to some vague friend when he would say, “Oh, have you met Madeleine? She’s a pal of my sis­ter,” and I would say, “Oh, hello hello.” And then the stream of non­sense chat would con­tinue pour­ing out of my mouth.

Some­time later, I might catch Madeleine look­ing at me oddly. Po­lite be­ing that I am, I’d brush it off as some tic the poor girl had to live with. Then, af­ter a while, I would push off and go and bother some­one else. At the end of the party, the vague friend would si­dle up and say: “So, what about you and Madeleine, eh? You two were get­ting on fa­mously.”

And I would say: “Re­ally? Are you sure?”

And he would say: “Didn’t you see the way she was fid­dling with her purse/rolling her eyes/ be­ing sick into the pot plants? It’s clear as day: fan­cies you rot­ten.”

And I would hon­estly have no idea if he was kid­ding me or not. For the only way in which a woman could have un­am­bigu­ously flirted with me would have been to wear a sand­wich board em­bla­zoned with: “I AM FLIRT­ING WITH YOU, YOU ID­IOT.”

But get this: when it comes to di­ag­nos­ing flir­ta­tious be­hav­iour, men are as­ton­ish­ingly ac­cu­rate — com­pared, that is, to women. Ac­cord­ing to the Kansas study, only 18 per cent of women get the mes­sage when we men are beam­ing out the lurr-vve waves.

Warner Bros. Pic­tures

What do I have to do to make him see that I like him? Might as well give up and just tell him. Flirt­ing ap­pears to be lost on most of us, says a new study from the Univer­sity of Kansas.

Volk Fur­ni­ture

Volk Fur­ni­ture, St. Charles Cof­fee Ta­ble (www.volk­fur­ni­ture.com): A mix of ma­te­ri­als that is so­phis­ti­cated and stylish. Cop­per, white oak, and lam­i­nated white glass make this cof­fee ta­ble per­fect in any way and shows that mix­ing ma­te­ri­als is more than...

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