Does size matter?
Ways to get bigger down there — or feel comfortable with what you have
It’s hard to image two media personalities with more different demographics than Howard Stern and Oprah Winfrey. Yet both have spoken out on, of all things, penis size, particularly the low end of the range.
Winfrey’s favourite TV doc, Dr. Mehmet Oz, recently linked weight loss to apparent growth of the male member. “If you lose 35 pounds, if you’re a male, you are gaining one inch of penis length,” he trumpeted.
An explanation posted on oprah.com claims that when a man is carrying a lot of extra weight, “a fat bundle builds up and starts to surround the shaft.” As a guy drops the excess weight, Dr. Oz explains, the fat starts to recede.
Stern is probably the only media personality who makes a habit of talking about his supposedly tiny penis. He claims that he’s “hung like a raisin,” and staged the bizarre Smallest Penis Contest on his TV show. Yes, almost all of the finalists were pretty chubby, although that was the least of their anatomical woes. While not exactly uplifting television, the episode is one of the highest rated videos on prankboards.com.
On a slightly more serious note, Stern hosted the author of Is Size Important? This book, published in 2002, focuses on that burning question and comes complete with revealing charts and tables. It also features techniques for dealing with what the author calls “imperfect compatibility” in the bedroom. This short (136-page) paperback is still available on Amazon and probably in used bookstores everywhere.
Stern calls the book’s author, California psychologist Donald Templer, “Dr. Penis.” He told Stern “an average white male’s penis is five and a half inches long and one and three eighths of an inch in diameter.” Templer added that “most women say they prefer an average- to large-sized penis, with some preferring very large penises and, surprisingly, 20 per cent of women saying they prefer a small-sized penis.”
Dr. Penis also claims gay men have a preference for the larger size and that “girth is more important to women than length.”
Dr. Penis states categorically that “no penis enlargement pills or equipment work.” Not the Austin Powers pumps, not the weights (ouch) and certainly not those magic pills and creams you get offered on the Internet.
Dr. P is also down on penis enlargement surgery, saying he does not recommend it. Experts at the Mayo Clinic go even further in damning cosmetic surgery on the penis, stating that “many of these techniques can damage your penis and even cause impotence, (so) think twice before trying any of them.”
However, if you must know, the plastic surgery procedures most commonly used for penile enlargement are “severing the suspensory ligament that attaches the penis to the pubic bone and moving skin from the abdomen to the penile shaft.” The Mayo Clinic’s excellent Men’s Health website goes on to explain that the procedure “can cause an erect penis to be unstable and position itself at odd angles, particularly when erect.” Penile wobble. Imagine that.
Other experimental procedures involve injecting fat from somewhere else into the penis, and tissue grafts, some taken from cadavers. That’s a creepy thought. A top medical authority on this, the American Urological Association, says such procedures have “not been shown to be safe or effective.”
As for exercises — well, suit yourself, but you might as well know there are some pretty big anatomical differences between your penis and your biceps, so don’t expect to get big that way.
Ah, but there is one piece of cosmetic genital alteration you can do yourself, in the privacy of your own home, at zero cost. Give yourself a little trim down under.
“Pubic hair around the base of your penis can make your penis look shorter,” write the ingenious folks at the Mayo Clinic.
“Trimming may not only make your penis look bigger but may also increase sensitivity around the base of your penis.”
It should be mentioned that penis pumps, properly called vacuum erection devices, together with rubber bands, do have a place in helping some men cope with erectile dysfunction. But if you fall into this category, you should really be seeing a urologist, not experimenting with that delicate piece of your anatomy.
It’s been said the brain is the most important sex organ and that’s certainly true when it comes to a man’s perception of his penis size. In a recent article in the British Journal of Urology, K.R. Wylie and I. Eardley propose a new diagnosis called “small penis syndrome.” It would apply to men who have excessive anxiety about their organ, even though they are pretty much normal. The authors provide some helpful suggestions, like “mirror work.” This involves standing naked in front of a full length mirror to “see yourself as others see you,” as opposed to the foreshortened view from above. They conclude that “it is important to avoid dismissing the concerns raised by the man; to do so might further humiliate him and heighten his anxiety and concerns.”
Talking frankly with your partner and/or a professional counselor is also highly recommended.
A urologist, speaking about the unrelated problem of urinary incontinence, once told me that if you put all the men with that problem end to end, they’d stretch across North America.
The same can be said of guys who think they’re inadequate, even though they’re doing just fine. So, put all the penis enlargement scams into the trash folder and focus on something really important like world peace.
Or just click on the TV and catch up with those talk-show hosts who can’t get enough of men who fear they have too little.
Howard Stern has made a habit of talking about his member.