Calgary Herald

Confront issue, handle it as a couple


Q: My girlfriend of two years broke up with me six months ago because she said that I wasn’t taking the next step in my life by moving in with her.

But in fact, it’s because her dad and I never got along.

He didn’t seem to like me from the start and little by little it ate into my respect for him, due to his insensitiv­e comments and behaviour.

I still miss her. She sent me a text over the holidays wishing me well. I still believe that maybe someday she’ll come back to me, but I can’t just put my life on hold and wait. What should I do?

— Lonely

A: Stop missing and start thinking: There’s no chance of a relationsh­ip with her if you don’t speak openly together about her father’s behaviour and how you can both confront and handle it, as a couple.

She’d need to insist that her father accept you as her chosen partner, before you could even consider moving in with her.

If she’s currently living with her father, or sees him often, you both must set agreed boundaries between him and you two.

Unless she is willing to take these steps to have you in her life, you’re better off to move on.


If a would-be partner lets her family treat you badly, stop all plans till this is resolved.

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